rantranranrnanrnrRANT
Alright i just feel like ranting right now.
I have alot on my mind.
First off, fucking boys. Some guys are such trash. I feel like im always being used. And pretty much i am just being used. This is how it goes. "Hey lets hookup slut" then "see yah laterrrr, i might talk to you in a month if i want some more ;]". Hah Maybe its me just being stupid and falling for stupid sweet talk. It really sucks that i cant just find someone who has a fucking heart in them. But when i find someone like that, i fuck it up in some way. I need to learn to control myself i guess, maybe i should get some sense and get over it. Ha i really do hate it, but i know i set myself up. Sometimes i reeally like a guy and then i just dont know what happens. Well nothing thats what happens. Like right now i like this guy actually and hes sweetheart kinda. The way we are talkiing, it just seems like its fading and theres nothing there. But i really dont want that to happen. Hes nice, but we just dont talk that much anymore. OTHER guys are just like ehh, idk. I need one. Only one. To call my own. To cuddle with and do cute stuff. Why is that soo much to ask for? I'm over all of guys bullshit and being used for their pleasure. I know im going on and on but its like WTF i dont know what to do. I'm afraid of being the only person alone. hah i just dont know.
Alright, be my boyfriend. okay? deal.
I was thinking about how i was about a year ago. So sweet and innocent. haha I was always with my friends having fun and being happy. I never worried about boys. I really didnt give a fuck about them actually. I really had no care in the world. I was happy with my friends. I didnt care about how i looked or what i did. hah Now i feel like i need a affection, i need someone there, i need to be perrrrrrrfect for society. Pretty rediculous. Right now i feel like im growing so far apart from my friends. No one really ever asks me to hangout so im home all the time. I dont know. Last year we were all together ALL the time. But now we are with other people or idk just not there. I hate it. I hate sitting at home all the time. dfgjdkfjgnm
I really do love my friends with all my heart. Thats all that matters.
Life at home is just fucking gay as always. I really hate being here. I hate living with the two people that treat me like shit. I miss my mom soo much. i know if she was still here, i would be a totally different person. And i do soooo much but im looked at as a lazy ass that does nothing. hah I hate it.
I hate the fact that its 2006. Its scary. I didnt start my new year off all that great either. hah fdjknk
Pretty much.
The future freaks me out.
All i want is for it to get better. thats it.
Not too much to ask for, right?
okthanks for reading me rant on and on hah
I have alot on my mind.
First off, fucking boys. Some guys are such trash. I feel like im always being used. And pretty much i am just being used. This is how it goes. "Hey lets hookup slut" then "see yah laterrrr, i might talk to you in a month if i want some more ;]". Hah Maybe its me just being stupid and falling for stupid sweet talk. It really sucks that i cant just find someone who has a fucking heart in them. But when i find someone like that, i fuck it up in some way. I need to learn to control myself i guess, maybe i should get some sense and get over it. Ha i really do hate it, but i know i set myself up. Sometimes i reeally like a guy and then i just dont know what happens. Well nothing thats what happens. Like right now i like this guy actually and hes sweetheart kinda. The way we are talkiing, it just seems like its fading and theres nothing there. But i really dont want that to happen. Hes nice, but we just dont talk that much anymore. OTHER guys are just like ehh, idk. I need one. Only one. To call my own. To cuddle with and do cute stuff. Why is that soo much to ask for? I'm over all of guys bullshit and being used for their pleasure. I know im going on and on but its like WTF i dont know what to do. I'm afraid of being the only person alone. hah i just dont know.
Alright, be my boyfriend. okay? deal.
I was thinking about how i was about a year ago. So sweet and innocent. haha I was always with my friends having fun and being happy. I never worried about boys. I really didnt give a fuck about them actually. I really had no care in the world. I was happy with my friends. I didnt care about how i looked or what i did. hah Now i feel like i need a affection, i need someone there, i need to be perrrrrrrfect for society. Pretty rediculous. Right now i feel like im growing so far apart from my friends. No one really ever asks me to hangout so im home all the time. I dont know. Last year we were all together ALL the time. But now we are with other people or idk just not there. I hate it. I hate sitting at home all the time. dfgjdkfjgnm
I really do love my friends with all my heart. Thats all that matters.
Life at home is just fucking gay as always. I really hate being here. I hate living with the two people that treat me like shit. I miss my mom soo much. i know if she was still here, i would be a totally different person. And i do soooo much but im looked at as a lazy ass that does nothing. hah I hate it.
I hate the fact that its 2006. Its scary. I didnt start my new year off all that great either. hah fdjknk
Pretty much.
The future freaks me out.
All i want is for it to get better. thats it.
Not too much to ask for, right?
okthanks for reading me rant on and on hah