versecollision 003 - Have you ever broken someone's heart?
//Locked//
Guess you could say the island's provided me with a two-for-one deal on heartbreaking. I'm not stupid. I may not say it out loud to either of them, but I know what I did. And how it hurt. Two different men, two completely different kinds of pain. Both caused by me. I don't know what anyone expects. It's not like I have a stellar record when it comes to relationships.
First, there's Sawyer. He's all cons and detachment, and not giving a damn about anyone else but himself. I think by now, most people see right through that. He cares. He cares and it's not a con, no matter how much he tries to make us all believe it is. And he cares about me.
I believe him, when he says he loves me. But that's just it. I don't love him. I told Pickett I did just to save his ass. He was screaming at me, practically demanding it. What was I supposed to do? Let Sawyer die because I didn't want to say three words that are practically meaningless anyway? But when it came time to repeat them, to say them seriously and mean it, I couldn't. Sleeping with him didn't require a second thought. I panicked. It didn't require any thought. Sex usually doesn't. But love is something else entirely. And I couldn't fake it.
It broke his heart. That much was pretty obvious. He won't say it, but I'm pretty sure everytime I use him to fill Jack's place because Jack doesn't even want to be there, it twists the knife just a little bit farther. Maybe it's my fault. I keep leading him on. But he knows the truth and it don't stop him from coming back again.
And then there's Jack. The unspoken reason I couldn't tell Sawyer I loved him. The person whose wound I sewed up with standard black thread. We have this thing. Can't even explain it. But it's something. We just never really got the chance to see what it could be. The first time we kissed, I ran. I was pretty out of it then anyway. Convinced I was crazy.
He saw us. Me and Sawyer. There was a camera, in the cages the Others were keeping us in, and Jack saw us. Juliet said it broke his heart. And that that was why he told me not to come back for him. He wasn't trying to protect or to save me. He was trying to save himself from me.
I don't know what I believe. If Jack really cares that much, he has a funny way of showing it.
Then again, so do I.
Kate Austen
Lost
443 Words
Guess you could say the island's provided me with a two-for-one deal on heartbreaking. I'm not stupid. I may not say it out loud to either of them, but I know what I did. And how it hurt. Two different men, two completely different kinds of pain. Both caused by me. I don't know what anyone expects. It's not like I have a stellar record when it comes to relationships.
First, there's Sawyer. He's all cons and detachment, and not giving a damn about anyone else but himself. I think by now, most people see right through that. He cares. He cares and it's not a con, no matter how much he tries to make us all believe it is. And he cares about me.
I believe him, when he says he loves me. But that's just it. I don't love him. I told Pickett I did just to save his ass. He was screaming at me, practically demanding it. What was I supposed to do? Let Sawyer die because I didn't want to say three words that are practically meaningless anyway? But when it came time to repeat them, to say them seriously and mean it, I couldn't. Sleeping with him didn't require a second thought. I panicked. It didn't require any thought. Sex usually doesn't. But love is something else entirely. And I couldn't fake it.
It broke his heart. That much was pretty obvious. He won't say it, but I'm pretty sure everytime I use him to fill Jack's place because Jack doesn't even want to be there, it twists the knife just a little bit farther. Maybe it's my fault. I keep leading him on. But he knows the truth and it don't stop him from coming back again.
And then there's Jack. The unspoken reason I couldn't tell Sawyer I loved him. The person whose wound I sewed up with standard black thread. We have this thing. Can't even explain it. But it's something. We just never really got the chance to see what it could be. The first time we kissed, I ran. I was pretty out of it then anyway. Convinced I was crazy.
He saw us. Me and Sawyer. There was a camera, in the cages the Others were keeping us in, and Jack saw us. Juliet said it broke his heart. And that that was why he told me not to come back for him. He wasn't trying to protect or to save me. He was trying to save himself from me.
I don't know what I believe. If Jack really cares that much, he has a funny way of showing it.
Then again, so do I.
Kate Austen
Lost
443 Words