my teacher accused me of stealing my satire homework off the internet...
I wrote this in a half hour and yet it provoked lots of discussion in class. go me.
Homework is for Losers
There is no need to do homework anymore now that we have the Internet. Almost all schoolwork can now be found online now so why not use it.
People take the time to put up their work for one reason, so that other people can copy it. They have no other reason to spend the time formatting their normally unreadable handwriting into useable information. It also gives the giver a sense of accomplishment in helping someone else. It is no different than getting a tutor or somebody else to help you do it in real life.
It is true that someone must have done a problem themselves before it can appear on the Internet, but after a few generations it will all be online since teachers give the same assignments year after year.
Think of the time it will save. Kids will be able to do their homework faster, and might even get the right answer. Teachers will be proud of their students and can show off their student’s ability to do their homework. There will be no more need of looking up answers in the back of the book and working backwards. Nor will there be assigning only odd problems because the answers are in the back.
Students will feel better about themselves because they will not be called stupid and will not be compared to other students. This will encourage kids to study more since they will think they are smart. Now their time spent bs’ing their homework can be turned into time actually studying.
The Internet will also ease the burden of AP students. Since it is humanly impossible to take four or more AP classes at a time without cheating, the Internet will simplify the way students cheat. Instead of wasting time calling people, instant messaging people, text messaging people, and driving from house to house just to find out if someone else did the homework, they can be reassured that all their homework needs are online in one conveniently organized location.
Creativity will now be spread to everyone. Since all of the hundreds of papers written analyzing the same book over and over again have sufficiently covered every interpretation, they can now be used as the source of all future papers. Papers written by future students will now be a hundred times better than they would be without the Internet.
And since Google is already planning on taking over the world, they might as well use their revolutionary searching technology for something useful such as finding the right homework in less than 1/100 of a second. Students will also be able to look at images of their homework as well as being able to translate it into 120 different languages all while buying an IPod at the same time. Students already spend more time trying to find the homework online than actually doing the homework, so they might as well have a way to find it quicker.
I tried searching for “homework on the internet satire” before I started this, but nothing came up. Hopefully some day this same paper will be available to help some poor student save himself from having to write this assignment ten minutes before school starts because he procrastinated.
Homework is for Losers
There is no need to do homework anymore now that we have the Internet. Almost all schoolwork can now be found online now so why not use it.
People take the time to put up their work for one reason, so that other people can copy it. They have no other reason to spend the time formatting their normally unreadable handwriting into useable information. It also gives the giver a sense of accomplishment in helping someone else. It is no different than getting a tutor or somebody else to help you do it in real life.
It is true that someone must have done a problem themselves before it can appear on the Internet, but after a few generations it will all be online since teachers give the same assignments year after year.
Think of the time it will save. Kids will be able to do their homework faster, and might even get the right answer. Teachers will be proud of their students and can show off their student’s ability to do their homework. There will be no more need of looking up answers in the back of the book and working backwards. Nor will there be assigning only odd problems because the answers are in the back.
Students will feel better about themselves because they will not be called stupid and will not be compared to other students. This will encourage kids to study more since they will think they are smart. Now their time spent bs’ing their homework can be turned into time actually studying.
The Internet will also ease the burden of AP students. Since it is humanly impossible to take four or more AP classes at a time without cheating, the Internet will simplify the way students cheat. Instead of wasting time calling people, instant messaging people, text messaging people, and driving from house to house just to find out if someone else did the homework, they can be reassured that all their homework needs are online in one conveniently organized location.
Creativity will now be spread to everyone. Since all of the hundreds of papers written analyzing the same book over and over again have sufficiently covered every interpretation, they can now be used as the source of all future papers. Papers written by future students will now be a hundred times better than they would be without the Internet.
And since Google is already planning on taking over the world, they might as well use their revolutionary searching technology for something useful such as finding the right homework in less than 1/100 of a second. Students will also be able to look at images of their homework as well as being able to translate it into 120 different languages all while buying an IPod at the same time. Students already spend more time trying to find the homework online than actually doing the homework, so they might as well have a way to find it quicker.
I tried searching for “homework on the internet satire” before I started this, but nothing came up. Hopefully some day this same paper will be available to help some poor student save himself from having to write this assignment ten minutes before school starts because he procrastinated.