(no subject)
I suddenly realised i'm terribly lonely. I feel i'm seriously lacking meaningful relationships. Not that i don't have friends. Because i do. Not many. And certainly only VERY few i consider close friends. But i want something more. I would like a romantic interest. Not a boyfriend. Nothing serious. But possibly just a relationship with a boy. In which we share some mutual feelings and attractions. It's not my intention to bitch and moan. Just something i needed to get off my chest. I've also realised i've been spending insane amounts of money buying silly things to fill the void. I buy things just to spend money. Just to have something new. Just to fill up voids. And it doesn't work. Sometimes i want to sever all ties with everyone. I thought this was because people are a pain in my ass and i hate them all. And i realised tonight, the real person i've been pulling away from people is because it's easier for me to just pull away, and ignore everyone, than have to face rejection, and the feeling like i'm just not important enough in their lives. It's about control. It's easier to be lonely if it's my choice.
On a happier note. I spent the evening with my brother and his wife. And we had a really great time. I got 3 super sweet books tonight for only $7. Be jealous.
Ok. Back to my movie. Then possibly reading. then sleep.
On a happier note. I spent the evening with my brother and his wife. And we had a really great time. I got 3 super sweet books tonight for only $7. Be jealous.
Ok. Back to my movie. Then possibly reading. then sleep.