(no subject)
this is what im doing tomorrow.
it should be ridiculous.
Zombie Holocaust
With barely enough time to eat, shower off the mud and switch bikes, it was time for Bill Dozer's third and final Halloween alleycat: the Zombie Holocaust.
Those who gathered in Alberta Park after dark were survivors of a zombie plague. As Bill explained what we would have to do to escape, rain started to fall. We were advised to form teams for safety and then make our way to a safe location secured by the military. To prevent the zombies from following us, we'd have to move quickly and make several stops and gather clues to find our final destination. Along the way we'd have to avoid being bitten by zombies or else we'd be left behind by our teams, lest we infect them all.
By the time we opened the envelopes with the first clue the rain was pouring. My newly formed group of survivors headed toward the first address in North Portland. We arrived at a house with a yard full of the undead. The only way in was to jump a fence run through a neighbors backyard but even that was dicey. As we recovered our bikes and prepared to ride to the next stop I was separated from my group. I found another group and followed them to the next stop. Again, the yard was full of zombies circling slowly and groaning for brains. Just as I started in, a group started to head off. Rather than chance it with the zombies, I followed.
As we headed south the rain slowed and finally stopped. All my clothes were soaked, and it felt like my shoes were two puddles. We set out for 2121 SE 18th, a non-existent address in Ladd's Addition. After circling around for twenty minutes trying to find it, I stumbled upon some recently infected zombies who mistook me for one of their evil kind and gave me the correct address, 21 SE 18th. I returned to my group, informed them of the correct address, and we rode the 20 blocks back to Burnside.
Yet again, I chickened out and waited outside, pretending to distract the zombies, while my companions ran in. Looking around, I realized I wasn't the only one. In hindsight I'm surprised it took that long for people's worst impulses to come out, I suppose that most of the "team players" were already zombies at that point. My "distracting" was cut short when someone noticed that, in spite of the imminent collapse of civilization, their cell phone was still working. They were able to call for help and we were able to make our way to the next stop unharmed.
In the inner South East we found the next stop. We spotted it from the end of the street, the zombies were becoming more and more aggressive. Instead of staying close to the house, they were wandering out in the street, throwing blood and brains at us as we rode by. I quickly found myself actively distracting zombies to allow one teammates to enter and find the location of the next stop: the cemetery on SE 20th and Morrison. The zombies were camping on our bikes but with quick thinking and a can of silly string we were able to distract them long enough to grab the bikes and escape.
During the ride to the cemetery, our large group was separated, I arrived two other survivors, Dan and Scotty. Pardon my language, but it was fucking creepy to walk into a graveyard knowing that there were zombies waiting for you. We found the zombies gathered around a bicycle in the middle of the cemetery and realized we were out numbered. A couple of exploratory thrusts were made to see how quickly they'd react and exactly what they were guarding. Around this point I realized what a bad idea running through a cemetery in hard soled bike shoes is. I grabbed what I thought was one of the clues and ran like crazy, pursued by a fast moving zombie. The bad thing about the knee high tombstones is that they're knee high. The good thing is that you can almost see them… unlike the ones that were flush with the ground. Those you'd just go sliding across. Back at the cemetery gates I realized I'd been tricked by the zombies, they'd left decoy clues out, fortunately Dan had grabbed on of the real ones and been able to read the address.
The zombies at the next stop were even more numerous and aggressive. We made a couple of passes trying to determine if we'd be able to enter and find the clue but it looked nearly impossible. I made one more pass down the street when a pack of fast movers started chasing me. I tried to avoid them by riding up on to the sidewalk, across someone's lawn, over a curb, and back onto the sidewalk. Around this point a zombie grabbed my backpack I dragged them for five or ten feet but finally my front wheel left the ground and I was taken down.
I looked back and realized that I'd been attacked by Bill Dozer. That meant we'd made it to the final stop but the zombies had gotten there first. There was nowhere safe to escape to. I was now one of them.
it should be ridiculous.
Zombie Holocaust
With barely enough time to eat, shower off the mud and switch bikes, it was time for Bill Dozer's third and final Halloween alleycat: the Zombie Holocaust.
Those who gathered in Alberta Park after dark were survivors of a zombie plague. As Bill explained what we would have to do to escape, rain started to fall. We were advised to form teams for safety and then make our way to a safe location secured by the military. To prevent the zombies from following us, we'd have to move quickly and make several stops and gather clues to find our final destination. Along the way we'd have to avoid being bitten by zombies or else we'd be left behind by our teams, lest we infect them all.
By the time we opened the envelopes with the first clue the rain was pouring. My newly formed group of survivors headed toward the first address in North Portland. We arrived at a house with a yard full of the undead. The only way in was to jump a fence run through a neighbors backyard but even that was dicey. As we recovered our bikes and prepared to ride to the next stop I was separated from my group. I found another group and followed them to the next stop. Again, the yard was full of zombies circling slowly and groaning for brains. Just as I started in, a group started to head off. Rather than chance it with the zombies, I followed.
As we headed south the rain slowed and finally stopped. All my clothes were soaked, and it felt like my shoes were two puddles. We set out for 2121 SE 18th, a non-existent address in Ladd's Addition. After circling around for twenty minutes trying to find it, I stumbled upon some recently infected zombies who mistook me for one of their evil kind and gave me the correct address, 21 SE 18th. I returned to my group, informed them of the correct address, and we rode the 20 blocks back to Burnside.
Yet again, I chickened out and waited outside, pretending to distract the zombies, while my companions ran in. Looking around, I realized I wasn't the only one. In hindsight I'm surprised it took that long for people's worst impulses to come out, I suppose that most of the "team players" were already zombies at that point. My "distracting" was cut short when someone noticed that, in spite of the imminent collapse of civilization, their cell phone was still working. They were able to call for help and we were able to make our way to the next stop unharmed.
In the inner South East we found the next stop. We spotted it from the end of the street, the zombies were becoming more and more aggressive. Instead of staying close to the house, they were wandering out in the street, throwing blood and brains at us as we rode by. I quickly found myself actively distracting zombies to allow one teammates to enter and find the location of the next stop: the cemetery on SE 20th and Morrison. The zombies were camping on our bikes but with quick thinking and a can of silly string we were able to distract them long enough to grab the bikes and escape.
During the ride to the cemetery, our large group was separated, I arrived two other survivors, Dan and Scotty. Pardon my language, but it was fucking creepy to walk into a graveyard knowing that there were zombies waiting for you. We found the zombies gathered around a bicycle in the middle of the cemetery and realized we were out numbered. A couple of exploratory thrusts were made to see how quickly they'd react and exactly what they were guarding. Around this point I realized what a bad idea running through a cemetery in hard soled bike shoes is. I grabbed what I thought was one of the clues and ran like crazy, pursued by a fast moving zombie. The bad thing about the knee high tombstones is that they're knee high. The good thing is that you can almost see them… unlike the ones that were flush with the ground. Those you'd just go sliding across. Back at the cemetery gates I realized I'd been tricked by the zombies, they'd left decoy clues out, fortunately Dan had grabbed on of the real ones and been able to read the address.
The zombies at the next stop were even more numerous and aggressive. We made a couple of passes trying to determine if we'd be able to enter and find the clue but it looked nearly impossible. I made one more pass down the street when a pack of fast movers started chasing me. I tried to avoid them by riding up on to the sidewalk, across someone's lawn, over a curb, and back onto the sidewalk. Around this point a zombie grabbed my backpack I dragged them for five or ten feet but finally my front wheel left the ground and I was taken down.
I looked back and realized that I'd been attacked by Bill Dozer. That meant we'd made it to the final stop but the zombies had gotten there first. There was nowhere safe to escape to. I was now one of them.