(no subject)
Wow, a real entry, who would have thought? Lets see where do I even begin.
I've been kinda grouchy lately, and I dunno, I suppose I blame it on myself. Ive been doing alot of soul searching. And alot of just laying around thinking. Ive come to the conclusion, I dont know who I am anymore. I used to be so carefree, and not listen to people and just be me. But now... I dont know I feel as tho I need to change the way I am to be accepted. I dont know if I am to blame for this, or my surroundings, or what... but I dont like it. It isnt me. Id say ever since I got back to school I havent felt like "myself". Ive been drinking like seriously every other night. And I dont mean a beer here or there. I mean like going through liquor like its my fuckin job. And for what? Because I can. That isnt me. Ive been snapping at people that I shouldnt have been. Ive been just.. ugh. Not me. And I hate it. I dont know what it is, but im working on it. I really am.
Recruitment is this week, and I dont feel as if I am anywhere near being ready. I mean, Tara and I havent even Ordered the placemats yet, and god help me if they get messed up. Im fucked. I mean shit recruitment starts wednesday. But ugh. I have all the flowers cut but I need to put the pictures on there. Yet the pictures are at megans. Hopefully Ill get them tonight at skit practice. The skit is coming along nicely. No complaints there. Other then I cant remember my fucking line about the 90s. Its like seriously 2 sentences long, but im so out of things I cant fuckin remember it. Kill me now thanks.
I have been going nuts trying to plan out this *secret* alpha gamma delta fundraiser. I really have my fingers crossed on this one. If we can pull this off... wed be jewel EASY. But its just getting it off the ground. I pray that it doesnt turn into a money issue, because... how much money do you really need, WE are the poor ones, not you! Blah.... fucking money
which leads me to another rant. I am poor as hell. I have to buy so much shit this semester I dont know what i am going to do. I have to pay for: my books, photo supplies, graphic design supplies, agd dues, sai dues (if i join, which i want to), GAS which is like 293742988340234 dollars, groceries, etc etc etc. its just getting to be expensive, and its not even the 3rd week of school yet.
my classes arent too bad. I really like them all. My Chem class is going to be a walk. We have a girl thats fresh out of school. Shes really nice. I talked to her about how im retarted and cant take notes and listen at the same time. and shes totally willing to work with me, which is REALLY nice of her, since that fucking cheri lady says im fine. HA whatever. My micro teacher is like scully!!!!!! I mean seriously he reminds me so much of mr sculthorpe. good times. I think its gonna be really hard in this class, but i think that hes going to be one of those teachers that makes sure you understand if you put in the effort. you know? So im def going to be going to his office hours. Which is good for me because i need to kick myself in the ass this semester. Because I want next semester. So i need to rock my GPA hard this semester. Photography. MY teacher is such a fucking tool I sware to god. I mean he seriously doesnt explain shit. Im glad i took photo in hs or id be like abuhhhh. So im going to get my own developing shit and do it on my own cuz his stuff is nasty and i cant roll on steel. I just cant, never could and prolyl never will. and since he cant TEACH me how to do it. its hopeless. anyway. then graphic design. haha prof segovia is the shit. Shes like im gonna be honest with you, half of you wont make it through my class. But those of you who do, be prepaired to work your asses off. and she so wasnt kidding haha. I love it. that class like...excites me. Im so into it, which is awesome. hooray school i guess
My mom is coming to visit in a few weeks. Woot. I am rather excited about that! :-D
Talula says: *bubble*
Ok I am done... Peace out
and i still think about you all the time :-(