i cant quite put my finger on it.

[im_mandy_lou]

so i just found out wednesday that i got layed off. that is something i really didnt expect to happen. so i must now look for another job, and i have no clue where to go. i am really happy that i've made friends at this job in the short amount of time i've been there. they are pretty amazing. it's really nice as well.

for everything that has happend as of late, i am okay. i could be worse and i'm not. i some what have this amazing person in my life and i am thankful for him. he is now moving on and adored by someone, which is lovely for him. i'm happy he can find that. i guess i just want that for myself. i could easily adore someone right now if they would just let me in. i dont really know if that is happening any time soon. what more can i do though? keep trying? or just give up. who knows. i want to be thinking this person will smile when they get a text or phone call from me, not wondering if they are rolling their eyes when it does happen. i mean maybe its just me. i know i'm like that, but i cant help but think, i'm actually not just like that. it's really actually happening that way. i just want to say "i cant wait to see your face." i'll do it through here so i dont feel so lame.

my hands are freezing, along with everything attached to them.
goodnight.