I'll let you know how I really feel when I'm drunk

[im_in_finland]

So earlier this week I was mildly grossed out by a comment made by the gas station clerk towards me. He said that if I gave him a chance, he'd give me one crazy night. I laughed it off and wanted to reject him right then and there, but I was nice.

Then as I was leaving, I couldn't help feel like I'm going to be stuck settling for someone again.

I'm not saying I settled for the last guys, just that the feeling of settling with whatever I can get is appearing in my head again.

Having basic needs satisfied is leaving a craving in me for different kinds of wants. But I know that my wants are going to be incredibly difficult to get.

While on the topic of needs and wants, I can't quite clearly explain why those wants are there. Let's face it, I don't want to come clean with the truth cuz I'm afraid its going to hurt more and/or change things. I'm confused with some things, but in the beginning, I asked for it. Then again, the things I did ask for are being built on and I think I'm reading too far in between the lines. Still, I wish I could come out and ask exactly what I want to know and spill everything I've been hiding for what seems like forever.

*sigh* But I can't.

Well, at least until I snap or something.