"He's *my* dork, all right?!"
The "Cassie and Buffy meet and snark" story that I had been trying to fix forever before just giving up at 2,440 words. There is early-kind-of-a-snot!Wonder Girl, possessive!Buffy, Kon/Buffy sap, and a bonus scene of Bart annoying Robin. Yay?
There was a strange and almost happy feeling for Buffy to go from “the Chosen One” to “person with randomly above average abilities” when Bart carried her over to their world for her first visit. She could have easily mistaken it for a giddy “yay Kon” feeling as he set her down on the doorstep of Young Justice headquarters, but that had been pretty much constant ever since last week when they showed up at her doorstep in a completely non-last-minute-heroic-rescue.
But she didn’t mind sort of maybe admitting it was just the rescue she wanted.
Of course Bart took care of the vampire slaying duties when Buffy was preoccupied with her “yay Kon” feelings, much to Giles’ vexation. Because Giles wanted the hyperactive child to stop his so-called helping and keep away from his library post haste; which, come to think of it, was probably the main reason why Buffy was spending her spare time visiting the superhero populated world instead. Despite the worry Buffy felt that the impromptu vacation left her world and friends in the capable and yet still mildly psychotic hands of Faith.
And maybe she was a little worried because she already knew how her friends would react to the “hey, I have a boyfriend who’s the clone of Superman” with confusion and a few “at least it’s not Riley or Angel” remarks from Xander, but basic acceptance. Because he was Kon. And if that didn’t win them over there was Bart, who didn’t stop saying how neat this or that was and hugging her randomly and it felt pretty normal after all.
And instead she was in a superhero headquarters filled with kids that could fly and bend steel as if it was a normal thing and Bart didn’t stop talking the whole way in.
“-that’s where the Ray sleeps, and he’s probably gonna flirt with you because he was off saving Brazil all last week so he didn’t hear about you guys, but that’s okay because he’s really nice and don’t look directly at his mouth because he’s got these sparkles in his teeth that can blind you and-“
“Hey, Bart,” Buffy said nonchalantly, because she was completely unfazed by this whole thing. Yep. “Where’s Kon?”
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s somewhere important,” Bart dodged and tugged her arm forward, “but right now I’m gonna see if Cissie’s here even if she isn’t on the team because she hangs out here and I wanna see her just wait a sec-“
And with that he was gone and back with three very confused girls and beaming at them like he had just saved the world; which, Buffy thought belatedly, might actually have happened the way this world worked.
“This is Cassie, Cissie, and Greta,” Bart listed off in rapid succession. “They’re my teammates, well, sort of but I’ll let you explain because I gotta go help Kon do that thing and bye-!”
He was gone before the bye finished, and she almost wished she could call him back. Mainly because she wanted to be where Kon was, but also the whole introduction to these people left her in that awkward improvisation stage made harder by the fact that the girl on the far left looked to be glaring at her.
The one in the middle cleared her throat and smile, “In case you didn’t catch all of that I’m Cissie, that’s Cassie”-pointing to the girl trying out heat vision on Buffy’s head-“and that’s Greta in the corner.”
Greta waved shyly and tilted her head. “…Are you that Terri Jewel Jackson actress everybody met before?”
Buffy smiled, introductions made easy. “No, I’m Buffy. From...” Death pit of absurdity? Alternate dimension? Summer camp? “That place Kon and Bart went to for a while.”
“She’s the Wendy rip off,” Cassie explained, her arms finally uncrossing to reveal the large ‘W’ on her shirt. Wonder Girl, Buffy surmised, although right now she assumed the W stood for something else the way she was introducing herself. And it rhymed with bitch, which was also fitting.
Cissie shot Cassie a warning look before turning back to Buffy. “Sorry, we heard from Bart you had a lot of similarities-“
“It’s fine, but I’m not some werewolf stalker, I’m a vampire slayer and it’s not television it’s that whole crappy chosen one deal,” Buffy said, directing the next part as saccharine as she could to Wonder Girl, “sorry to disappoint if you’re such a fan.”
“So you don’t have Wendy show in your universe?” Greta asked again. Buffy was amazed to realize she had the same ability as Bart to completely ignore a tense situation. “And no Robin or Superboy...”
“We have different shows than yours I guess. Like in my universe Superman is a comic book character...”
“Must’ve been a dream to meet your idols in the flesh then,” Cassie mused.
Buffy quirked an eyebrow in response, her patented look she reserved for Cordelia at her most aggravating. It was a special look. “I didn’t know about Kon until he hit on me. And he didn’t bring up the Superman conversation until after he finished some bad pick up line.” She would not comment on the flesh line because she was being on her best behavior damn it. She wouldn’t…think of Bart’s puppy eyes. Not Kon flesh.
Cassie opened her mouth to say, “He would neve-“
“That sounds like him,” Cissie chuckled, ignoring the simmering anger her best friend was displaying right at the moment.
“But do you have Harrison Ford?” Greta persisted.
Buffy decided she liked Greta. “Yeah, we have Harrison Ford.”
“Oh, then it’s not that bad,” the girl said to herself contentedly. “Even if you don’t have Robin.”
“Or a Superboy,” Buffy added, “but that’s okay, because Kon’s special. But you guys would already know that.”
“We know him very well,” Cassie snapped.
“President of his fanclub?” Buffy shot back.
“No,” interrupted Greta, “but she’s got a loooooooooooot of their merchandise.”
“Good to know,” Buffy smirked. She decided she liked Greta a lot. “I’d ask to see but I think Kon would either get jealous or he’d never stop grinning. I could be worth it for the grinning though.”
“He’s been doing that nonstop anyway,” Cissie said, giving her a pointed look as if to ask how much of it was Buffy’s doing without inciting Cassie again.
“Me too,” she responded, and Buffy didn’t care if Cassie saw her act sappy. “Except I can’t literally float on air.” And she was trying to be good really, but even the Bart puppy eyes weren’t keeping her from wanting to wipe the smugness from Cassie’s face. “But Kon’s flying makes up for it.”
Cissie looked like she immediately caught all the meanings behind it, Greta was finally beginning to notice there was something different about what she said and Cassie was practically seething. If there was a steel girder in Wonder Girl’s hand it would have been bent, pretzeled and sautéed by now. It was not her proudest moment pissing off a girl with the power of a demi-god.
But, hey, she did try to be nice.
“Bart! Put that down comic and at least try to help me,” Kon barked, before staring at the strange lettering that looked somehow familiar. “Is that about me?”
“Issue 83,” Bart said and leisurely flipped a page. “So did you really steal underwear for Lobo like it says?”
“Put that down!”
Bart was standing over beside Robin suddenly, looking over the boy’s cloaked shoulder. “I’m helping. I’m helping. Sheesh.”
“Where’d you get that kind of info anyway? Not that it’s true, because it’s not!” Kon was great at cover ups.
Robin managed to crack a small smile at his teammate’s suffering. Because it was a mild and Bart-pointing-out-it’s-self-inflicted suffering. “Apparently your girlfriend has been trying to keep up with your exploits.”
“Hey Bart, you didn’t bring her over yet?” Kon asked in a worried yet manly and calmly composed boyfriend way.
“I cleaned up all your embarrassing stuff in your room-and you owe me for touching that fuzzy stuff under your bed-cleaned up the den, sent Snapper off to a fake Hourman convention, put up the streamers, and then dropped Buffy off to hang out with the girls while we finished.”
Robin’s mask of composure fell and he wheeled around. “You left Buffy with Cassie?!”
“Yeah?” Bart said.
But by then Robin had already vanished and went off running, his cape billowing behind him dramatically.
“I really wish he wouldn’t just leave like that, it’s so rude,” Bart said. “What do you think he was on about?”
“I dunno, girl talk is a dangerous thing,” Kon shrugged, “but if he left that means we can leave and I’m going to see Buffy.”
Bart noticed, indeed, he floated the whole way.
Kon arrived on the scene with Robin situated between Cissie and Cassie and Buffy looking like she had...well, done something that made Kon’s perverted sixteen year old one track mind blush. But Kon didn’t really care, because hey his girlfriend was there and he was there and there was a…thereness involved. Since his communicative abilities were shot to hell Kon chose to swoop in and grab Buffy in a fierce hug.
“Hey Kon,” Cissie said.
“Hmm, hey,” Kon said back, except his face was in Buffy’s hair and it had that tenor that meant it really wasn’t directed towards anybody else except Buffy.
“I hope you were off saving the world,” Buffy grinned back, because she was enjoying this. Having him there in front of her again was enough for her to forget how amusing and petty it would be to do this in front of Cassie, but that was really just vindictive and Kon was there so who really cared.
“Something better,” Kon stated proudly and took her hand in his. “For you.”
“Hope it’s not a poster of you, because Cassie already offered that and I had to decline.”
He blinked. “Really? That’s nice of you Cassie, but I could get her my own.”
It took all of Buffy’s self-restraint to not turn back at the soft growling coming from Wonder Girl, instead opting to hold onto Kon’s arm, because he could be the perfect boyfriend even when he didn’t know it, and let him lead her into the main room.
“So what is it?” Buffy asked, an amused grin on her face as Kon spun her around.
“Honorary YJ membership,” Kon said. And there was that pleased grin again.
“Does this mean I have to wear a mask? Because I only did that once and that was enough…”
“It means you get to come here whenever you want!” Bart. Sneaking up on them and grinning with party hats. “And you don’t even have to save the world!”
“Oh good, because I have enough world saving on my old schedule.”
Kon’s arms wrapped around her waist and he was being touchy feely again, but she liked it. “It means,” he said softly, “that you’re one of us. And we get the completely legitimate excuse to be there for you whenever we can.”
“Congratulations,” Robin said, not really ruining their moment because he knew how to be discreet and managed to slip the party hat Bart stuck on him before stepping up. From the folds of his cape he pulled out a transceiver and handed it to Buffy. “This will keep you in contact with Oracle, we’re working on calibrating the inter-dimensional signal but it should work once you go back.” Another imperceptible smirk. “Whenever that is.”
“Your long distance plan must be fantastic.”
“We try.”
“So you get to be like Cissie and Greta,” Bart continued. “Because Cassie adopted Cissie and I got to adopt Greta, because this was still her home and she doesn’t even mind the giant neon sign of me up in her room.”
Buffy looked at Kon, and he mouthed “don’t ask.”
But Greta was helpful anyway. “It’s a nice night light.”
“And that’s what’s matters,” Buffy said.
Robin cleared his throat. “We haven’t gotten your quarters up and running because Bart brought you early, but I’m sure Kon would want to take you out on the town anyway.”
“Metropolis looks gorgeous this time of year,” Kon said eagerly, scooping her up in his arms.
“I bet,” Buffy said and told herself she missed that feeling as he lifted up the ground.
“See you guys later,” Buffy called out.
Bart waved. “Bye!”
They went straight away to his apartment. Because even though Metropolis really was gorgeous that time of year, but Kon figured priorities were priorities, and Buffy looked better.
Epilogue:
“I was not being irresponsible,” Bart whined as Robin picked up the last of Buffy’s “Welcome to YJ” party confetti that Bart had thrown randomly into the air.
“Cassie’s crush on Kon is obvious enough for you to get it,” Robin scolded, “You should have thought things through before you put them in the same room together. It was bad enough since Cassie’s the leader and this kind of tension will take a lot of sensitivity.”
“Yeah, but I know it’s totally okay now!”
Robin sighed and tried not to give into the urge to rub his temples. “How do you figure that?”
“Because Cissie wouldn’t let them!”
“Cissie isn’t on the team anymore, and I doubt she could stop anyone with the powers of Wonder Girl’s level, or even a ‘chosen one’ vampire slayer for that matter.”
Bart gave an exasperated sigh, one that Robin thought he might be mimicking from his, and waved his arms as if the answer was right in front of them. “No, I mean Cissie wouldn’t let Cassie get jealous because they’re together! It would be silly for Cassie to crush on Kon now that she’s got somebody else...”
Robin’s years of training his mind and his body were probably the only things keeping him upright. “What?”
“See my friend, you know her, from that other dimension I’m visiting tomorrow, she was explaining to me how she has these two teammates that acted the exact same way!” Bart explained excitedly, “So when their leader went all on a date with evil they stopped being jealous and got together. It’s practically the same thing!”
“And is she the apprentice to the world’s greatest detective in her universe?” Robin asked dryly.
“Nope,” Bart scoffed, “She’s Princess Powerful!”
“Oh, well, that makes perfect sense then.”
Sadly, two weeks later when Robin found the two girls making out in Cissie’s dorm room he was force to concede his powers of deduction could be thwarted by a twelve year old girl once and a while.
There was a strange and almost happy feeling for Buffy to go from “the Chosen One” to “person with randomly above average abilities” when Bart carried her over to their world for her first visit. She could have easily mistaken it for a giddy “yay Kon” feeling as he set her down on the doorstep of Young Justice headquarters, but that had been pretty much constant ever since last week when they showed up at her doorstep in a completely non-last-minute-heroic-rescue.
But she didn’t mind sort of maybe admitting it was just the rescue she wanted.
Of course Bart took care of the vampire slaying duties when Buffy was preoccupied with her “yay Kon” feelings, much to Giles’ vexation. Because Giles wanted the hyperactive child to stop his so-called helping and keep away from his library post haste; which, come to think of it, was probably the main reason why Buffy was spending her spare time visiting the superhero populated world instead. Despite the worry Buffy felt that the impromptu vacation left her world and friends in the capable and yet still mildly psychotic hands of Faith.
And maybe she was a little worried because she already knew how her friends would react to the “hey, I have a boyfriend who’s the clone of Superman” with confusion and a few “at least it’s not Riley or Angel” remarks from Xander, but basic acceptance. Because he was Kon. And if that didn’t win them over there was Bart, who didn’t stop saying how neat this or that was and hugging her randomly and it felt pretty normal after all.
And instead she was in a superhero headquarters filled with kids that could fly and bend steel as if it was a normal thing and Bart didn’t stop talking the whole way in.
“-that’s where the Ray sleeps, and he’s probably gonna flirt with you because he was off saving Brazil all last week so he didn’t hear about you guys, but that’s okay because he’s really nice and don’t look directly at his mouth because he’s got these sparkles in his teeth that can blind you and-“
“Hey, Bart,” Buffy said nonchalantly, because she was completely unfazed by this whole thing. Yep. “Where’s Kon?”
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s somewhere important,” Bart dodged and tugged her arm forward, “but right now I’m gonna see if Cissie’s here even if she isn’t on the team because she hangs out here and I wanna see her just wait a sec-“
And with that he was gone and back with three very confused girls and beaming at them like he had just saved the world; which, Buffy thought belatedly, might actually have happened the way this world worked.
“This is Cassie, Cissie, and Greta,” Bart listed off in rapid succession. “They’re my teammates, well, sort of but I’ll let you explain because I gotta go help Kon do that thing and bye-!”
He was gone before the bye finished, and she almost wished she could call him back. Mainly because she wanted to be where Kon was, but also the whole introduction to these people left her in that awkward improvisation stage made harder by the fact that the girl on the far left looked to be glaring at her.
The one in the middle cleared her throat and smile, “In case you didn’t catch all of that I’m Cissie, that’s Cassie”-pointing to the girl trying out heat vision on Buffy’s head-“and that’s Greta in the corner.”
Greta waved shyly and tilted her head. “…Are you that Terri Jewel Jackson actress everybody met before?”
Buffy smiled, introductions made easy. “No, I’m Buffy. From...” Death pit of absurdity? Alternate dimension? Summer camp? “That place Kon and Bart went to for a while.”
“She’s the Wendy rip off,” Cassie explained, her arms finally uncrossing to reveal the large ‘W’ on her shirt. Wonder Girl, Buffy surmised, although right now she assumed the W stood for something else the way she was introducing herself. And it rhymed with bitch, which was also fitting.
Cissie shot Cassie a warning look before turning back to Buffy. “Sorry, we heard from Bart you had a lot of similarities-“
“It’s fine, but I’m not some werewolf stalker, I’m a vampire slayer and it’s not television it’s that whole crappy chosen one deal,” Buffy said, directing the next part as saccharine as she could to Wonder Girl, “sorry to disappoint if you’re such a fan.”
“So you don’t have Wendy show in your universe?” Greta asked again. Buffy was amazed to realize she had the same ability as Bart to completely ignore a tense situation. “And no Robin or Superboy...”
“We have different shows than yours I guess. Like in my universe Superman is a comic book character...”
“Must’ve been a dream to meet your idols in the flesh then,” Cassie mused.
Buffy quirked an eyebrow in response, her patented look she reserved for Cordelia at her most aggravating. It was a special look. “I didn’t know about Kon until he hit on me. And he didn’t bring up the Superman conversation until after he finished some bad pick up line.” She would not comment on the flesh line because she was being on her best behavior damn it. She wouldn’t…think of Bart’s puppy eyes. Not Kon flesh.
Cassie opened her mouth to say, “He would neve-“
“That sounds like him,” Cissie chuckled, ignoring the simmering anger her best friend was displaying right at the moment.
“But do you have Harrison Ford?” Greta persisted.
Buffy decided she liked Greta. “Yeah, we have Harrison Ford.”
“Oh, then it’s not that bad,” the girl said to herself contentedly. “Even if you don’t have Robin.”
“Or a Superboy,” Buffy added, “but that’s okay, because Kon’s special. But you guys would already know that.”
“We know him very well,” Cassie snapped.
“President of his fanclub?” Buffy shot back.
“No,” interrupted Greta, “but she’s got a loooooooooooot of their merchandise.”
“Good to know,” Buffy smirked. She decided she liked Greta a lot. “I’d ask to see but I think Kon would either get jealous or he’d never stop grinning. I could be worth it for the grinning though.”
“He’s been doing that nonstop anyway,” Cissie said, giving her a pointed look as if to ask how much of it was Buffy’s doing without inciting Cassie again.
“Me too,” she responded, and Buffy didn’t care if Cassie saw her act sappy. “Except I can’t literally float on air.” And she was trying to be good really, but even the Bart puppy eyes weren’t keeping her from wanting to wipe the smugness from Cassie’s face. “But Kon’s flying makes up for it.”
Cissie looked like she immediately caught all the meanings behind it, Greta was finally beginning to notice there was something different about what she said and Cassie was practically seething. If there was a steel girder in Wonder Girl’s hand it would have been bent, pretzeled and sautéed by now. It was not her proudest moment pissing off a girl with the power of a demi-god.
But, hey, she did try to be nice.
“Bart! Put that down comic and at least try to help me,” Kon barked, before staring at the strange lettering that looked somehow familiar. “Is that about me?”
“Issue 83,” Bart said and leisurely flipped a page. “So did you really steal underwear for Lobo like it says?”
“Put that down!”
Bart was standing over beside Robin suddenly, looking over the boy’s cloaked shoulder. “I’m helping. I’m helping. Sheesh.”
“Where’d you get that kind of info anyway? Not that it’s true, because it’s not!” Kon was great at cover ups.
Robin managed to crack a small smile at his teammate’s suffering. Because it was a mild and Bart-pointing-out-it’s-self-inflicted suffering. “Apparently your girlfriend has been trying to keep up with your exploits.”
“Hey Bart, you didn’t bring her over yet?” Kon asked in a worried yet manly and calmly composed boyfriend way.
“I cleaned up all your embarrassing stuff in your room-and you owe me for touching that fuzzy stuff under your bed-cleaned up the den, sent Snapper off to a fake Hourman convention, put up the streamers, and then dropped Buffy off to hang out with the girls while we finished.”
Robin’s mask of composure fell and he wheeled around. “You left Buffy with Cassie?!”
“Yeah?” Bart said.
But by then Robin had already vanished and went off running, his cape billowing behind him dramatically.
“I really wish he wouldn’t just leave like that, it’s so rude,” Bart said. “What do you think he was on about?”
“I dunno, girl talk is a dangerous thing,” Kon shrugged, “but if he left that means we can leave and I’m going to see Buffy.”
Bart noticed, indeed, he floated the whole way.
Kon arrived on the scene with Robin situated between Cissie and Cassie and Buffy looking like she had...well, done something that made Kon’s perverted sixteen year old one track mind blush. But Kon didn’t really care, because hey his girlfriend was there and he was there and there was a…thereness involved. Since his communicative abilities were shot to hell Kon chose to swoop in and grab Buffy in a fierce hug.
“Hey Kon,” Cissie said.
“Hmm, hey,” Kon said back, except his face was in Buffy’s hair and it had that tenor that meant it really wasn’t directed towards anybody else except Buffy.
“I hope you were off saving the world,” Buffy grinned back, because she was enjoying this. Having him there in front of her again was enough for her to forget how amusing and petty it would be to do this in front of Cassie, but that was really just vindictive and Kon was there so who really cared.
“Something better,” Kon stated proudly and took her hand in his. “For you.”
“Hope it’s not a poster of you, because Cassie already offered that and I had to decline.”
He blinked. “Really? That’s nice of you Cassie, but I could get her my own.”
It took all of Buffy’s self-restraint to not turn back at the soft growling coming from Wonder Girl, instead opting to hold onto Kon’s arm, because he could be the perfect boyfriend even when he didn’t know it, and let him lead her into the main room.
“So what is it?” Buffy asked, an amused grin on her face as Kon spun her around.
“Honorary YJ membership,” Kon said. And there was that pleased grin again.
“Does this mean I have to wear a mask? Because I only did that once and that was enough…”
“It means you get to come here whenever you want!” Bart. Sneaking up on them and grinning with party hats. “And you don’t even have to save the world!”
“Oh good, because I have enough world saving on my old schedule.”
Kon’s arms wrapped around her waist and he was being touchy feely again, but she liked it. “It means,” he said softly, “that you’re one of us. And we get the completely legitimate excuse to be there for you whenever we can.”
“Congratulations,” Robin said, not really ruining their moment because he knew how to be discreet and managed to slip the party hat Bart stuck on him before stepping up. From the folds of his cape he pulled out a transceiver and handed it to Buffy. “This will keep you in contact with Oracle, we’re working on calibrating the inter-dimensional signal but it should work once you go back.” Another imperceptible smirk. “Whenever that is.”
“Your long distance plan must be fantastic.”
“We try.”
“So you get to be like Cissie and Greta,” Bart continued. “Because Cassie adopted Cissie and I got to adopt Greta, because this was still her home and she doesn’t even mind the giant neon sign of me up in her room.”
Buffy looked at Kon, and he mouthed “don’t ask.”
But Greta was helpful anyway. “It’s a nice night light.”
“And that’s what’s matters,” Buffy said.
Robin cleared his throat. “We haven’t gotten your quarters up and running because Bart brought you early, but I’m sure Kon would want to take you out on the town anyway.”
“Metropolis looks gorgeous this time of year,” Kon said eagerly, scooping her up in his arms.
“I bet,” Buffy said and told herself she missed that feeling as he lifted up the ground.
“See you guys later,” Buffy called out.
Bart waved. “Bye!”
They went straight away to his apartment. Because even though Metropolis really was gorgeous that time of year, but Kon figured priorities were priorities, and Buffy looked better.
Epilogue:
“I was not being irresponsible,” Bart whined as Robin picked up the last of Buffy’s “Welcome to YJ” party confetti that Bart had thrown randomly into the air.
“Cassie’s crush on Kon is obvious enough for you to get it,” Robin scolded, “You should have thought things through before you put them in the same room together. It was bad enough since Cassie’s the leader and this kind of tension will take a lot of sensitivity.”
“Yeah, but I know it’s totally okay now!”
Robin sighed and tried not to give into the urge to rub his temples. “How do you figure that?”
“Because Cissie wouldn’t let them!”
“Cissie isn’t on the team anymore, and I doubt she could stop anyone with the powers of Wonder Girl’s level, or even a ‘chosen one’ vampire slayer for that matter.”
Bart gave an exasperated sigh, one that Robin thought he might be mimicking from his, and waved his arms as if the answer was right in front of them. “No, I mean Cissie wouldn’t let Cassie get jealous because they’re together! It would be silly for Cassie to crush on Kon now that she’s got somebody else...”
Robin’s years of training his mind and his body were probably the only things keeping him upright. “What?”
“See my friend, you know her, from that other dimension I’m visiting tomorrow, she was explaining to me how she has these two teammates that acted the exact same way!” Bart explained excitedly, “So when their leader went all on a date with evil they stopped being jealous and got together. It’s practically the same thing!”
“And is she the apprentice to the world’s greatest detective in her universe?” Robin asked dryly.
“Nope,” Bart scoffed, “She’s Princess Powerful!”
“Oh, well, that makes perfect sense then.”
Sadly, two weeks later when Robin found the two girls making out in Cissie’s dorm room he was force to concede his powers of deduction could be thwarted by a twelve year old girl once and a while.