i guess im ready
i have a strogn burning inside me right now and it needs to stop. Have you ever felt guilty for somethig but you dont know exactly what you feel guilty about? thats how i feel. I kind of feel like a dissappointment to everyone like i cant get anything right. Im mad at myself and at everyone. i just wanna scream and never be happy again. im sulking in my own gloom. im constantly asking why me? what have i done wrong? but theres so much. i treat everyone like their not important and usually end up lying to myself and everyone else to heal wounds but in the end i hurt even more. i hate that i dont know how things could end up. if only i knew i could do things right. why didnt someone kill me before? i want to die happy. i dont know if thats possible anymore. I dont know when im happy and when im down. im always trying to make other people happy. i need to do something to get rid of all this pain. I cant die now, i simply wouldnt allow it. i need happiness because i dont know how much more i can take of life.