hey
I came across a friend's livejournal today, and she had written this about me. Then there's Josh... inventor of the marvelous Cheesy Bunny, laid back, cooler than cool ~ ice cold, considerate, sits back and observes the chaos, kikazz vocabulary, informative on bands and good taste in music, mature, modest, generous, chilled attitude, funny, respectable, laughs at my jokes even if they are over-played or not funny. Makes me feel good when important people have good things to say about me. She is a great person herself. Her name is Emily, and her livejournal is james_bondage_x . I have much to say about her, but I kinda feel obligated, so I'll wait until the time is right to expess the way I feel about my damn good friends the way she did in her lj.
Anyways, aside from that, I went to court today to find out that I tested positive for anphetimines on January 26th, and positive for opiates on January 29th. Unless I get a doctor's note saying that those such items are in my meds, then I go to the Wayne County Juvinile Detention Facility to be placed in a jail until further notice. That's usually 3-6 months. My drug Program is harsh as hell . They never praise you for all of the good you are doing, but never fail to shoot you down once you make one little mistake even if you dont know the cause of it. They were trying to tell me that by testing positive those days that I was doing Heroin and Speed. Come on, are you kidding me? Do you think, considering the situation I'm in (and even if I wasn't in any situation like this) that I would fuck my life up for any stupid fucken drug like that? This program has made me realize the severity of drugs, so the LAST thing I'd go out and do would be to shoot up some fucken dope. I MEAN COME ON. It fucken hurts for them to say, let alone think that. Doesn't hurt to where it makes me wanna go do it (I'm not that dumb) but it's pitiful, the fact that they'd accuse me of something like that. But shit, what am I or can I do? Not a damn thing. There isn't a godamn thing I can do for their mistakes. I fall victim to the court failing. It sucks. Aside from that, Megan had this pact with me that she wouldn't smoke bud for her own good, but she relasped and smoked on Saturday. So my trust for her is gone. So...to sum up life, I'm on the verge of going to jail, and I can't trust one of my best friends.
It's all good knowing that someone has something good to say about me though. It makes me look past the fact that my future is going to shit. It's just cool that someone sees these things in me, because so many people that I associate myself with are just shallow as hell, or were just around to use me, and didn't see any of those qualities in me that a good person like Emily would see.
Ahh anyways though...I go back to school, and have counseling tomorrow...So I am going to attempt to enjoy my last week of being free while being idle in this drug program and not going anywhere in life with no one by my side.