May 29, 2006 21:46
To be engaged, or not to be engaged.
Apparently, that's the question.
And I know what I want. It just probably sounds crazy to everyone else.
I'm really young still. And there's a lot of stuff I said I wanted to do before this happened.
And now everything seems like it's snowballing and happening so, so fast. I feel like I don't even have a second to stop and just breathe and get my thoughts together.
Of course we could decide to wait. But why? What would I be waiting for? 'Til I'm a certain age? 'Til I've had plenty of experience paying bills and cooking dinner? What am I supposed to wait for? Is there like, a moment in time where I'll suddenly be like, "Okay, I think today is the day. I'm ready now."
This is a completely different situation. We don't necessarily have the option of 'time'. Of course I don't wanna rush into anything, but God, I'm so in love and this could actually work.
I think that phone call should've lasted a little longer than 4 minutes just for the sole fact that it could've saved me from the mental breakdown I'm likely to endure any day now.
Guess I'll be patiently waiting for the call from Texas to help me better decide my future.
Man, I'm so happy and so scared at the same time. I just don't want to mess this up.