devastation isnt a shocker
I knew it was going to happen but it happened all too soon, what the fuck am I suppose to do what am I suppose to feel, does feeling empty like this ever go away????!! How can I live with myself for what I've done and I'm smarter than killing myself, i'm threw with the past, I'm done with drugs, i'm done with hanging out with guys who are friends, i'd rather be by myself and proud to honestly say i love one guy and I will do what love tells me to... I'm sooo sorry for saying things I dont mean, so fucking sorry for causing everything that has come upon me, its not fair for me nor him, I hurt the only person I love, the one person that was there for me and put up with me and made my world a better place, it fucking sucks knowing that i dont have that person anymore to comfort me, i dont have that connection with him, that feeling of love and the security like I did. Who can blame him, its all my fault and yes im dying in the inside, my heartbeats are intensified as if someone were stabbing my heart, my stomach is empty and i dont care, my mind is all over the place, i can barely see due to the tears that just dont stop running down my cheek, I wish so bad to just see him, to just hear his voice tell me that he loves me, thats all I need, i just want to be with the one person i love above all things, i love him i love him i love him please help me what do I do, I have never felt this way for anyone, i never really loved anyone, what the fuck do i do when my heart is broken, when im fucking lost in memories I wish to relive. I cant undo the damage, i cant go back in time, can he ever forgive me for the shit I did wrong, I dont think so and therefore im drowning in my own remorse. But I have to learn the hard way to control myself and the things I say, maybe one day everything will be better for me, thank you guillermo for putting up with me for a year I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...