Passing the Buck or Releasing my Burden
I never imagined I would be feeling this Jimmy Buffett esque carefree after this weekend. I thought I would find myself lost in deep thought on emotions that pull me back and forth. However, I feel as though a huge massive weight has been lifted off my heart and I feel tremendously better. I saw Beth and the first go round did not go too well. She was having a party at her old place and I stopped by to say hi, but I felt about as welcome as a terrorist and as I was about to tell her I was leaving she turned around and answered her friend's question with a story about her boyfriend, so I left. However, today I stopped by and in the time it took her to smoke a cancer stick I unloaded my grief and frustration onto her and told her finally how I felt about her and what she had done. I then got up left and have spent the rest of the day happily groovin' to Jimmy Buffett and I feel as though I am (for the moment at least) released of my burden of pain. Maybe it was that elusive "closure" that gets tossed around like all the other bullshit buzz words, but whatever it was, it feels fucking fantastic. Not that I wasn't ready for the world before, but now, watch out!