Testosterone
This is an unfinished excerpt from a drunken ramble. I like where it was headed, but I also like the ending and how it leaves me wondering where my brain went off to at that point.
Again I would like to talk about my cool job and how much I really love it and think it can be one of the best things to have fallen into my lap in my life. But when I get to want to write I have a familiar subject on my mind. The opposite sex and how I have begun to recognize love as just another good idea that doesn’t work in reality.
I think of how my penis has faulted me and let me astray of my life desires for a little bit of night desires. Damn horniness has weakened my desire from the person I would want to the person that will do at the moment, and all it leaves me with is a funny story and a lesser feeling than that which I was trying to avoid in the first place.
Unfortunately that damn Beth keeps coming to mind at these times for the same and only reason that our relationship worked in the first place. We had great sex. What a shitty relationship, but sex was the savior of the whole damn thing. But isn’t that who I am and what I am really after. For whatever reason; I often associate my current sexual appetite back to my high school days of an uncool kid looking in, and how my frustrated youthful lusts have converted into a constant desire for satisfaction. I hate to think of myself as being such a one dimensional character only concerned with sexual desire. But it often seems as though that is the only thought my brain can muster.
Even at my new job I have grown fond a gorgeous co-worker and instead of developing that fucking elusive platonic relationship, my eyes hint a little less innocent. Just damn sex; and I can’t think. In our training I have realized my intelligence again and everything makes sense instantaneously, but then I start to let my mind wander and my thinking gets blurred. I can’t even imagine how smart I could grow to if I was asexual. But once the sexual appetite appears, all rational thought vanishes from sight.
Again I would like to talk about my cool job and how much I really love it and think it can be one of the best things to have fallen into my lap in my life. But when I get to want to write I have a familiar subject on my mind. The opposite sex and how I have begun to recognize love as just another good idea that doesn’t work in reality.
I think of how my penis has faulted me and let me astray of my life desires for a little bit of night desires. Damn horniness has weakened my desire from the person I would want to the person that will do at the moment, and all it leaves me with is a funny story and a lesser feeling than that which I was trying to avoid in the first place.
Unfortunately that damn Beth keeps coming to mind at these times for the same and only reason that our relationship worked in the first place. We had great sex. What a shitty relationship, but sex was the savior of the whole damn thing. But isn’t that who I am and what I am really after. For whatever reason; I often associate my current sexual appetite back to my high school days of an uncool kid looking in, and how my frustrated youthful lusts have converted into a constant desire for satisfaction. I hate to think of myself as being such a one dimensional character only concerned with sexual desire. But it often seems as though that is the only thought my brain can muster.
Even at my new job I have grown fond a gorgeous co-worker and instead of developing that fucking elusive platonic relationship, my eyes hint a little less innocent. Just damn sex; and I can’t think. In our training I have realized my intelligence again and everything makes sense instantaneously, but then I start to let my mind wander and my thinking gets blurred. I can’t even imagine how smart I could grow to if I was asexual. But once the sexual appetite appears, all rational thought vanishes from sight.