My freedom
I kind of felt like a part of my confidence and feedom and my childhood, like my ability to be myself and be okay with that died with her. But then I realized, she's spent my whole life trying to make me see that it was in me and not in other people that I found those things. It just doesn't feel like I should hurt this bad since I know that she's Home now. She's being taken care of finally, she's at peace. I just wish I could hear her voice in my ear one more time, to tell me she loves me and have her squeeze my hand...to sit for hours on end and help me work through things. She had all the answers and even if she didn't give them straight to me, I always felt like I knew what they were as I passed that chair of hers on my way out the door. There's so much she hasn't taught me yet, but I know it's selfish of me to think that way. I'm just gratefull that I had so many years with such a great woman. It makes me want to tell the people I love how much I care. but what happens when you can't say it. What happens when you feel it but you can't let those people know? She always told me just to be patient and love myself, I suppose now she's always right by my side...but sometimes people feel so close and so far away all at once...I just one ten more minutes to tell her thank you, to tell her I love her, and honestly, to listen, just listen to whatever she said. Don't ever take one single thing for granted, go to bed everynight thankful, wake up thankful, live your day thankful and be more gratefull to have been blessed with something than you are sad that it's gone.