there are many traffics in mexico.
So I was looking through my old entries back to last Christmas.
Last Christmas was great.
This Christmas was great too. Mexico.
Sun, water, food, and Mexicans.
I think I'll cry when I go back to school en la manana.
I'm so tired of being me.
I feel like I need to confess things.
But I have no one to confess to.
And nothing to confess.
I mean, there's been a little hiatus between me and God until recently, but I think I'm pretty square with the confession of sins these days.
Plus, I don't mean that I feel like I need to confess sins.
Just things.
Like, I still have a whole table in my room dedicated to Australia and New Zealand. Its 2006 now, that was 2003. But I can't think of any one experience that has changed me so much as a person.
I have Mariah Carey on my iPod. And Blink 182. And Brand New. Etc.
I watch tv. Alot.
I get Teen Vogue.
I'm computer illiterate. Or computer challenged. Or just stupid.
I've started to listen to some bands just because I heard of them from other people.
I'm sick and tired of complaining about a song like "my humps" just because it's overplayed, and having my freinds tsk at me and tell me to shut up. Also of having my friends tell me they "don't understand" "my" music.
I envy people. Everything about other people.
Alot.
I want to be different.
All the time.
Yet also, sometimes, I wonder if I managed to go the distance and starve off my weight, I would feel too different, feel like I lost myself, an integral part of who I am. I wonder how the hell some part of me could have gotten comfortable with this body when other parts of me feel too-gigantic and covered in a blanket of fat that is actually not connected to me, just stuck there, making me itch to get out of it.
Sometimes I get tired of reading.
I haven't opened my Bible since the week after church camp.
I don't know.
It's only eight o'clock and all I want to do is go to bed.
Last Christmas was great.
This Christmas was great too. Mexico.
Sun, water, food, and Mexicans.
I think I'll cry when I go back to school en la manana.
I'm so tired of being me.
I feel like I need to confess things.
But I have no one to confess to.
And nothing to confess.
I mean, there's been a little hiatus between me and God until recently, but I think I'm pretty square with the confession of sins these days.
Plus, I don't mean that I feel like I need to confess sins.
Just things.
Like, I still have a whole table in my room dedicated to Australia and New Zealand. Its 2006 now, that was 2003. But I can't think of any one experience that has changed me so much as a person.
I have Mariah Carey on my iPod. And Blink 182. And Brand New. Etc.
I watch tv. Alot.
I get Teen Vogue.
I'm computer illiterate. Or computer challenged. Or just stupid.
I've started to listen to some bands just because I heard of them from other people.
I'm sick and tired of complaining about a song like "my humps" just because it's overplayed, and having my freinds tsk at me and tell me to shut up. Also of having my friends tell me they "don't understand" "my" music.
I envy people. Everything about other people.
Alot.
I want to be different.
All the time.
Yet also, sometimes, I wonder if I managed to go the distance and starve off my weight, I would feel too different, feel like I lost myself, an integral part of who I am. I wonder how the hell some part of me could have gotten comfortable with this body when other parts of me feel too-gigantic and covered in a blanket of fat that is actually not connected to me, just stuck there, making me itch to get out of it.
Sometimes I get tired of reading.
I haven't opened my Bible since the week after church camp.
I don't know.
It's only eight o'clock and all I want to do is go to bed.