(no subject)
rijthgkjhkdhkhgkgdgfhghghfgjhgfhgfhgfhgfhgfhgfhgfhgfkkhgkfd I FUCKING HATE LIVEJOURNAL RIGHT NOW
so get this i posted a fucking long ass entry but what happened? OH IT DIDNT POST..fucking pussy shit.
im rusty. im annoyed. ive lost it all. is this my fault? yea its my fault. what did i do? nothing..and thats exactly why what happened. happened. i shouldnt give a fuck because "friends" should care and everything right? My "friends" were shit although im pretty happy for our fond memories and everything. i hate how thats all i'll ever have MEMORIES. i dont want that I WANT TO MAKE MEMORIES. not think about them constantly when im sad. thanks kimberly campos. thanks. its all your fault. im a bitch cause i whine. cause i run away, right? First i lose one friend because i was causing problems. Sir i did not cause them i tried to fix them, how can you think by me apologizing is causing problems in any means. you love her and she loves you and i love the fact that she makes you fucking happy. DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT..oh yea you did but you didnt give a fuck. but thank you for your 406 days of friendship because they meant the world to me. i promise you that. i just hope they meant as much to you. but im pretty sure they didnt. i took up those days like the air in your lungs. and took the life right out of you. i loved you. now i just hate you for what you did. letting me go so easily. especially on myspace. do you not know how pathetic that was? How low? do you not know how horrible that felt how it was that easy like a snap,"we cant be friends anymore" those words are more hurtful than. i hate you to me. do you not know that? do you now know me at all for who iam and what i needed. because i needed you, you just let me go as if i was your fucking shit. something you hated. someone you found your shame in. i was that journey you never wanted to take. you stopped and went in reverse. found something new. but im happy if your happy. no i lied im happy your happy im just distraught im not in your life anymore. is this what you wanted? when you told me no matter what happened you would chose me because you would never let go of your "piggy". well panda you let her go..you let her go and this was the last time. you were my definition of bestfriend. but i was wrong my logics and theories were all set wrong. my mind was set on false. i didnt even make you chose. what kind of person would i have been if i ever EVER made you chose. i know better than that. i thought you did too. i was wrong. i just thought to myself..
if my "boyfriend" couldnt accept my friends for who they were than he would never be able to accept me. My friends made me who iam today.
wow panda..does she accept you? the real you..yea she fucking does because she knows you better than that. she knows you better than any of us now. and maybe im just jealous because shes your new bestfriend now shes all youll ever need in life. good for you. but i guess im done because why? im tired of you making me cry even we you dont even know you do.
i hate how..
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
you fucking make me cry
ONE WEEK LATER..
i lose another friend
i dont even want to begin on this.
it was totally uneccesary and i dont even feel like talking about it because it makes me so fucking mad how we both just let it go. it makes me sad how were so close and in an hour everything was like..i fucking hate you kim. well i fucking hate you too. my mind wasnt spoken for. i just agreed to everything which i hate how i do that. SPEAK YOUR FUCKING MIND TURD. gosh whats wrong with me. im just scared. so i let go. its what i do best and you know it. i tried helping you all the time. and those nights you made me cry it was a routine that you were ready for. it was planned wasnt it. let me smoke. i need to smoke. it takes your worries away right? whatever i fucking love you..i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you...x 10 [remember when you did that x10 and infinity. and all that beauty.]
and quite frankly i dont give a fuck what you say.
shameless week of crying i bet you didnt know how much you two really affect me.
My song to you two...
"The Ocean"
am i alone in this?
never a night where i can sleep myself till day.
we must try to figure it out, figure it out.
it won't be that easy.
we lost it somehow.
you come over unannounced.
silence broken by your voice in the dark.
i need you here tonight
just like the ocean needs the waves.
oh, the night becomes the space that's somewhere in between
what i feel and what i'm told.
sitting on the shoreline trying to figure it out, figure it out.
to find out the meaning and reach it somehow.
you come over unannounced.
silence broken by your voice in the dark.
i need you here tonight
just like the ocean needs the wave.
fall around me now,
like stars that shine and brighten the way.
i need you here tonight just like this night it needs the rain.
the season has changed.
the wind, it moves colder now, colder now.
the clouds are raised,
the rain it falls harder now, all around.
you come over unannounced.
silence broken by your voice in the dark.
i need you here tonight,
just like the ocean needs the waves.
so fall around me now.
just like stars that shine and brighten the way.
i need you here tonight just like this night it needs the rain.
over unannounced, silence broken by your voice in the dark.
i need you here tonight,
just like the ocean needs the waves.
just like the stars that fall around me now.
yea thats right, i said it.
i cant take any of this anymore
im already torn into pieces.my life was stolen
dennijon you destroy me too.
ps
i got a fucking haircut.so what?jerk.
i may look happy but its all a mask