done laying groundwork.
It is so unbelievably hot in my house I don't know what to do with myself. Far too hot to sleep. Why Dana, do you not have air conditioning? One might ask. And I would tell you, dear friend of COURSE I have AC, but my torturous mother is refusing to turn it on. Did we have it on on much cooler nights? Again, of course. But now that it's a gajillion degrees we need to conserve energy. I'm just so fucking crabby right now, and the heat is only exacerbating this.
Ugh.
Not to mention that I'm feeling rejected at every turn lately. And even if it's attention I didn't really want, or wasn't that into in the first place, it still fucking sucks to suddenly get the opposite. Life has been at a pretty good place for awhile now, but I just feel like I need to meet new people SO BAD.
I've always been resistent to change but now I crave it. I wanna make changes in my appearance, in my habitat, in my social life, in my personal life. But now I feel stuck. For the next year it's like I'm locked in right here. And believe me, I've been very happy with right here for a much longer time than the old me would have. But now it's starting to feel oppressive and efforts I had made have gone to waste.
And why the fuck should I have to make the effort? I feel like I've been chasing and chasing and not been chased enough. I'm adorable, I'm smart, I'm fun, I'm funny, I'm laid back, I'm responsible and very tolerant plus great in the sack (and obviously have some self confidence). You'd think I'd have this in the bag but I don't. I do not stand for being second best, but it seems lately I've been the runner up.
The past 9 months have been so much better than I ever thought they could be, and really, better than the previous year. So I don't want to get down trodden now. I want to keep having fun and be totally worry free. And I'm sure I'll get back to that but I'm just feeling so squashed. And that's not me. I laugh all the time and I'm the least awkward person ever and am somehow the eternal optimist through all this bullshit.
So let's just introduce me to some new people who are fun fun fun and get over all this sad sack bullshit. Please and thank you.
Ugh.
Not to mention that I'm feeling rejected at every turn lately. And even if it's attention I didn't really want, or wasn't that into in the first place, it still fucking sucks to suddenly get the opposite. Life has been at a pretty good place for awhile now, but I just feel like I need to meet new people SO BAD.
I've always been resistent to change but now I crave it. I wanna make changes in my appearance, in my habitat, in my social life, in my personal life. But now I feel stuck. For the next year it's like I'm locked in right here. And believe me, I've been very happy with right here for a much longer time than the old me would have. But now it's starting to feel oppressive and efforts I had made have gone to waste.
And why the fuck should I have to make the effort? I feel like I've been chasing and chasing and not been chased enough. I'm adorable, I'm smart, I'm fun, I'm funny, I'm laid back, I'm responsible and very tolerant plus great in the sack (and obviously have some self confidence). You'd think I'd have this in the bag but I don't. I do not stand for being second best, but it seems lately I've been the runner up.
The past 9 months have been so much better than I ever thought they could be, and really, better than the previous year. So I don't want to get down trodden now. I want to keep having fun and be totally worry free. And I'm sure I'll get back to that but I'm just feeling so squashed. And that's not me. I laugh all the time and I'm the least awkward person ever and am somehow the eternal optimist through all this bullshit.
So let's just introduce me to some new people who are fun fun fun and get over all this sad sack bullshit. Please and thank you.