(no subject)
Today I took my advanced class with Paul Mitchell at the new Cactus Paul Mitchell school in rosevelt field mall. The school is very beautiful and set up very nice & has some really exquisite features such as stages with hollywood lighting & Earth toned colors & bright lights that illuminates everything. I work with a Paul Mitchell educator named Denise. She is about my heigth with wavey violet-red hair. I feel like I learned a lot from her today. I dont know why I didnt try and learn from her earlier on because shes really educated & can help me get to where I need to get to. I know i'm in a good place with my career. But I dont know if I am mentally. I layed in bed & cryed while Luke was gone to work today. I just wanted him to hold me. It was really gloomy outside and depressing and I didnt really see the light of the day being in the basement of the mall. I sat outside of my class in a daze looking like a junkie cuz i had no make up on. We went upstairs & he took me to lunch at Johnny Rockets :p thats what they call me at work. Ive been kinda paranoid this past few days off. My boss told me a few things i had to improve on and I think I just got a lil paranoid.
We went out in the city last night. We started off doing 5 shots for 10 dollars I ended up having a few beers on top of that. I was having a good time walking around manhattan drunk. Its just a good past time lol. I had a lot of fun just exploring and walking around to the differnt shops and seeing the people and walking around seeing something new. the thing about New York City is I always notice something I havent seen before. I dont know why i was so sad earlier and crying I think i just miss what i'm familiar with and sometimes its a lot to take in. I tend to think a lot about the past and dont look ahead and its just a secret of mine. I havent done any type of drugs lately except smoke weed. I think thats a long way I have came from when I was a pill pop'n out of control teen. I really miss my family mostly.
I've finally found someone who means something to me. I love him soo much it makes me want to cry. I cried earlier because I havent ever felt that before. Its just an emotion I cant describe. It just frightens me that I could possibly lose him or that he might leave me. I love him so much. Theres just have been so many times where i've been with a guy and hes just left me face down and you wake up and hes stolen things from your apartment. Candles are burning and naked at 12 noon scared that you were rapped while overdosing on anxiety medication. I dont have anything to fear anymore because ive finally found the one who loves me. I wouldnt want anyone else because he makes me happy and when I feel at my lowest he brings the sunshine back into me. I just sometimes dont know how to say I luv u bck.
We went out in the city last night. We started off doing 5 shots for 10 dollars I ended up having a few beers on top of that. I was having a good time walking around manhattan drunk. Its just a good past time lol. I had a lot of fun just exploring and walking around to the differnt shops and seeing the people and walking around seeing something new. the thing about New York City is I always notice something I havent seen before. I dont know why i was so sad earlier and crying I think i just miss what i'm familiar with and sometimes its a lot to take in. I tend to think a lot about the past and dont look ahead and its just a secret of mine. I havent done any type of drugs lately except smoke weed. I think thats a long way I have came from when I was a pill pop'n out of control teen. I really miss my family mostly.
I've finally found someone who means something to me. I love him soo much it makes me want to cry. I cried earlier because I havent ever felt that before. Its just an emotion I cant describe. It just frightens me that I could possibly lose him or that he might leave me. I love him so much. Theres just have been so many times where i've been with a guy and hes just left me face down and you wake up and hes stolen things from your apartment. Candles are burning and naked at 12 noon scared that you were rapped while overdosing on anxiety medication. I dont have anything to fear anymore because ive finally found the one who loves me. I wouldnt want anyone else because he makes me happy and when I feel at my lowest he brings the sunshine back into me. I just sometimes dont know how to say I luv u bck.