NYC
At this point I dont reallly even know what to say or think. I feel kind of disapointed at this time. Relationships always seem to crumble and fall apart before our very eyes almost as soon as they developed in the first place. At this point I feel that almost that no guy is ever worth it. I guess I just want what I see displayed by the media. I get so sick of the " omg your so hot I wanna hoook you up with my friend so and so" to be quite honest not all gay guys get along with eachother just because they are gay for one. I am done with dating friends of friends at this point it's so fucking pathetic. Fuck myspace and all these dating sites as well. I mean really what did we do before them? we found our men in person and welll I guess thats just what I am going to set out to do. My next goal is to get a job here in the empire state in the city. I know theres tons of cute boys there for me to be surrounded with. Not to mention the West Villiage where I will be applying is known for being the gay area of NY and Christopher st etc.
I just feel discouraged at this point. I guess we never know who we reallly are dating until it's to late. When you say the words "I love you" things seem to melt and fade away. How many times should someone be torn apart before finding what they really are seeking, why are we so vicious? why do guys always say the same shit when a break up happens? It's not you it's me. At this point I just don't listen to it anymore I just rolll my eyes and say next. Fuck you Richie, you aren't half the man you claim to be.
I want to come home at this point. But reallly where is home? Who is even there, I just feel so empty and I want to cry because I miss my friends and family so much. I think about if I do go back. What would I be doing there? Everyone would just talk more shit about me like they always have in the past or just kick me while i'm down in a crisis. but one things for sure I got alll my up north niggas that would be there in a heartbeat if I needed them. I guess you can say I know who my true friends are at this point because they still here, they just in my ear over the telephone or online. I think about the guys i've slept with in the past and it just always seeems like they only want to get what ive got in my pants and the whole relationship has an expiration date of 1.5 months. I'm saying what my friend David culley says at this point "Fuck Love". I'm done playing the field, it's time for me to do me. I've stocked my heart with enough frozen frigidaire. So much for finding the one.
I just feel discouraged at this point. I guess we never know who we reallly are dating until it's to late. When you say the words "I love you" things seem to melt and fade away. How many times should someone be torn apart before finding what they really are seeking, why are we so vicious? why do guys always say the same shit when a break up happens? It's not you it's me. At this point I just don't listen to it anymore I just rolll my eyes and say next. Fuck you Richie, you aren't half the man you claim to be.
I want to come home at this point. But reallly where is home? Who is even there, I just feel so empty and I want to cry because I miss my friends and family so much. I think about if I do go back. What would I be doing there? Everyone would just talk more shit about me like they always have in the past or just kick me while i'm down in a crisis. but one things for sure I got alll my up north niggas that would be there in a heartbeat if I needed them. I guess you can say I know who my true friends are at this point because they still here, they just in my ear over the telephone or online. I think about the guys i've slept with in the past and it just always seeems like they only want to get what ive got in my pants and the whole relationship has an expiration date of 1.5 months. I'm saying what my friend David culley says at this point "Fuck Love". I'm done playing the field, it's time for me to do me. I've stocked my heart with enough frozen frigidaire. So much for finding the one.