Mar 12, 2006 21:29
Music: Paris is Burning || "Business Associates"
Words of Wisdom: "Never actually listen to my words of wisdom."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never realized how much taking a walk by yourself gives you time to think about shit. I don't know if it's just because I have quite a bit on my mind, or what. It just started with me in my room, craving some Panda Express. Since I've literally been in my room the whole day studying, I figured I'd give myself a break and take a walk over to Panda's.
I guess I just realized how unhappy I've been lately. It's not that I'm depressed or whatever, I'm just not as happy as I've been. And I honestly can't figure out what started it. Maybe the freezing ass weather. [I hate it when it's cold.] ...or something, idk. Or a better question... why haven't I done anything about it? But then again, what can I do about it? It's not like you can just make yourself feel better. That would make life way too easy.
Wow, writing down all my thoughts at once is harder than I thought it would be. Well, I guess what I'm trying to get at, is that I feel like I'm trying to fit into a society, where I'm not wanted. I live in a world where people are quick to judge. It's a part of life, yes. I just wish people gave me the chance to let me be me. Constant stares, distant chuckles, it's gheeyy.
Anyways, when I got to McDonald's (Panda was closed :[ ..boo), some guy noticed my potleaf shoes and complimented them and so-forth. The walk back just consisted of me thinking about the time since I quit smoking weed. It's been downhill since then. I miss the days when I would drive to that perfect spot, or not-so-perfect spot, and just enjoy the next few hours. I miss those days. I just haven't been that happy since I quit. Is it just because now I'm filled with nothing to do? Because I constantly find myself bored with my life. I seriously need a fucking hobby. Or a job. Or a girlfriend. Or something..
Like I said, I don't understand where all of this is coming from. I just figured I'd share my thoughts I had on my short journey. Thanks :]