Never More Shall They See My Face
I love bookshops? Don't you? Who doesn't? And if you don't, why are you here? Moving on.
As I said, I love bookshops, but lately they seem to hate me. Books-A-Million (I know, I know. My personal library is more interesting and inclusive than their entire store. But I digress.) is the best bookshop in Nowhere, USA. It's a desperate relationship, what's between B-A-M and me. Twice in the past month I've been accosted by other customers, both of whom have asked for my help in locating a book before realizing that I do not, in fact, work there. I suppose I look bookish and in need of a pay raise?
The incidents of mistaken identity are amusing but harmless. B-A-M in general is harmless. Except for its queer habit of sticking its erotica right bloody next to its itty-bitty classics section. Very embarrassing to pass from a shelf containing Homer and Beowulf to one sporting Bed On Arrival. And then there was this incident at the Customer Service Counter.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: Can I help you?
ME: Ah, yes. Do you have Sexing the Cherry?
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: Sexing the where?
ME: Sexing the Cherry.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: I do not think so.
ME realizing how it sounds: Oh, God, no! I mean, yes. But also no.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: I think you might want to go now.
ME: I am not the one who shelves the erotica right next to the classics!
In less insane news, the muse is back to stay. Apparently it was raining on her beach. Also: have gotten Paper Towns from darkiknowwell for my birthday. Much love to her and to the hilarious John Green. Nerdfighters FTW!
As I said, I love bookshops, but lately they seem to hate me. Books-A-Million (I know, I know. My personal library is more interesting and inclusive than their entire store. But I digress.) is the best bookshop in Nowhere, USA. It's a desperate relationship, what's between B-A-M and me. Twice in the past month I've been accosted by other customers, both of whom have asked for my help in locating a book before realizing that I do not, in fact, work there. I suppose I look bookish and in need of a pay raise?
The incidents of mistaken identity are amusing but harmless. B-A-M in general is harmless. Except for its queer habit of sticking its erotica right bloody next to its itty-bitty classics section. Very embarrassing to pass from a shelf containing Homer and Beowulf to one sporting Bed On Arrival. And then there was this incident at the Customer Service Counter.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: Can I help you?
ME: Ah, yes. Do you have Sexing the Cherry?
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: Sexing the where?
ME: Sexing the Cherry.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: I do not think so.
ME realizing how it sounds: Oh, God, no! I mean, yes. But also no.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: I think you might want to go now.
ME: I am not the one who shelves the erotica right next to the classics!
In less insane news, the muse is back to stay. Apparently it was raining on her beach. Also: have gotten Paper Towns from darkiknowwell for my birthday. Much love to her and to the hilarious John Green. Nerdfighters FTW!