Spring Break . . . aah, where do I begin?
The Beach
-is sandy
-has too much sun for my taste
-requires small baithing suits
-is not really all that fun unless you want to build sand villas / snorkel for 293023 hours in a row / read Oscar Wilde novels marked by salt and sunscreen
But we did get to have lits of animal stories. For example, I told the story of a small bird, James (I'll get pictures on my next blog), who fell in love with the beautiful bird, Lydia, from a neighboring bird tribe. However, Lydia was promised to the ugly fat bird, (you will remember that all these birds looked the same) Horace. Tonight, Horace and James are having a duel over the hand of fair Lydia. However, Horace has hired a few pigeons and a mongoose to fight for him, so James must die valiantly for Lydia's love.
There was also the primadonna cat, Pandora. She enjoys eating leftover ham and cheese sandwitches, but when you hit her with an apple core, she stares at you with her pools-of-green-water eyes and BAM! Your soul is gone forever. She ate it. Because you hit her with a lousy apple core rather than a delicious ham and cheese leftover lump. Then, with a flick of her orange and black tail, she's gone to watch James and Horace fight. She'll be eating the loser. (Maybe the winner, too. I think Lydia would like that.)
And, of course, we have Logan and Jeanette, the palmetto bugs (aka roaches, but they really have been working for a long time to overcome stereyotypes like that, and it's prejudiced pigs like you who keep the horrible views in circulation, thank you very much.) But, anyways, Logan went to see Jeanette this evening. Now, you must remember that Logan's a bit of a commoner. He's smart, but he was born to Spanish immigrants, so he's had to overcome :that: prejudice, too. There aren't too many girls who'd like a Hispanic roach. However, Jeanette fell for Logan, and they've been together for a week now. However, as Logan was bringing Jeanette some flowers, he spotted her canoodling with Jean, the son of a hissing cockroach and a Mongolian waterbeetle. He was devastated. Jeanette called back to him, but he leapt from the ceiling to his death. However, the very soft and slightly sunburnt shoulder of a beautiful girl broke his fall, and he was forced to fly away to the bus stop for a cigarette (he's been trying to cut back since he met Jeanette) while the dear life-saver freaks out over a plate of lobster ravioli and quietly shrieks, "a really really big ROACH just flew into my BACK!!!!!" As if Logan needs that after he's just seen his wife lusting after another insect. Meanwhile, poor Jeanette's facing a moral dilema: does she return to the bug she loves and with whom she could happily spend the rest of her (short) life, or does she stick with Mr. Right-Now and have a few nights of passion before he dumps her for the next glossy-winged young thing? All she can do is weep minute little palmetto-bug-tears and sleep directly over the diner who just saved her husband's life. (Diner: "Oh my GOD! These things are IMPOSSIBLE to stand!")
I really get too involved in what isn't so.
-is sandy
-has too much sun for my taste
-requires small baithing suits
-is not really all that fun unless you want to build sand villas / snorkel for 293023 hours in a row / read Oscar Wilde novels marked by salt and sunscreen
But we did get to have lits of animal stories. For example, I told the story of a small bird, James (I'll get pictures on my next blog), who fell in love with the beautiful bird, Lydia, from a neighboring bird tribe. However, Lydia was promised to the ugly fat bird, (you will remember that all these birds looked the same) Horace. Tonight, Horace and James are having a duel over the hand of fair Lydia. However, Horace has hired a few pigeons and a mongoose to fight for him, so James must die valiantly for Lydia's love.
There was also the primadonna cat, Pandora. She enjoys eating leftover ham and cheese sandwitches, but when you hit her with an apple core, she stares at you with her pools-of-green-water eyes and BAM! Your soul is gone forever. She ate it. Because you hit her with a lousy apple core rather than a delicious ham and cheese leftover lump. Then, with a flick of her orange and black tail, she's gone to watch James and Horace fight. She'll be eating the loser. (Maybe the winner, too. I think Lydia would like that.)
And, of course, we have Logan and Jeanette, the palmetto bugs (aka roaches, but they really have been working for a long time to overcome stereyotypes like that, and it's prejudiced pigs like you who keep the horrible views in circulation, thank you very much.) But, anyways, Logan went to see Jeanette this evening. Now, you must remember that Logan's a bit of a commoner. He's smart, but he was born to Spanish immigrants, so he's had to overcome :that: prejudice, too. There aren't too many girls who'd like a Hispanic roach. However, Jeanette fell for Logan, and they've been together for a week now. However, as Logan was bringing Jeanette some flowers, he spotted her canoodling with Jean, the son of a hissing cockroach and a Mongolian waterbeetle. He was devastated. Jeanette called back to him, but he leapt from the ceiling to his death. However, the very soft and slightly sunburnt shoulder of a beautiful girl broke his fall, and he was forced to fly away to the bus stop for a cigarette (he's been trying to cut back since he met Jeanette) while the dear life-saver freaks out over a plate of lobster ravioli and quietly shrieks, "a really really big ROACH just flew into my BACK!!!!!" As if Logan needs that after he's just seen his wife lusting after another insect. Meanwhile, poor Jeanette's facing a moral dilema: does she return to the bug she loves and with whom she could happily spend the rest of her (short) life, or does she stick with Mr. Right-Now and have a few nights of passion before he dumps her for the next glossy-winged young thing? All she can do is weep minute little palmetto-bug-tears and sleep directly over the diner who just saved her husband's life. (Diner: "Oh my GOD! These things are IMPOSSIBLE to stand!")
I really get too involved in what isn't so.