Lost in it all
12:26 AM:
Dear God!
What's going on in my life?
Why can't I figure things out?
Why aren't the answers there anymore?
What happened to faith?
What happened to my self-reliance?
My dignity?
My plans?
My future?
JESUS CHRIST! I'm so lost right now.
I can't figure things out.
NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!
Yes, I am quoting "Eternal Sunshine" at you. It fits right now.
I'm feeling so much liek Eustacia Vye. I just can't figure it out anymore. I can't figure out purpose or reason or coincidence or fate or whatever the fuck it is.
I want out.
No, I'm not suicidal, I just want out of this confusion.
I'M CRAWLING OUT OF MY SKIN!
I'm bored.
I'm scared.
I'm confused.
I want answers NOW.
I want to be sure of who and what I am.
12:53 AM
I am having a breakdown, I think.
I think it was just today that I realised that all of my friends will be springing off to college in a few months and I'll be stuck here without them. I always say that I embrace change, but now I think I fear it a bit. Then there's my problem with church and belief that failed a long time ago but has suddenly decided to resurface. I mean, seeing the world and how beautiful and cruel it can be just slapped me in the face today. I mean, what kind of God does this? Then there's this fear of not being able to identify and connect with anyone. I just feel like I'm too paradoxical and odd to truly connect with a human of any kind.
1:22 PM
I feel exhausted now. I guess it's better than repeatedly screaming and crying. I just realised that things really haven't changed from yesterday. I still repeat "La Vie Boheme" about 1432 times whenever I listen to it, I still have bad hair, etc. Still, it'd be nice to talk to a professional.
Dear God!
What's going on in my life?
Why can't I figure things out?
Why aren't the answers there anymore?
What happened to faith?
What happened to my self-reliance?
My dignity?
My plans?
My future?
JESUS CHRIST! I'm so lost right now.
I can't figure things out.
NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!
Yes, I am quoting "Eternal Sunshine" at you. It fits right now.
I'm feeling so much liek Eustacia Vye. I just can't figure it out anymore. I can't figure out purpose or reason or coincidence or fate or whatever the fuck it is.
I want out.
No, I'm not suicidal, I just want out of this confusion.
I'M CRAWLING OUT OF MY SKIN!
I'm bored.
I'm scared.
I'm confused.
I want answers NOW.
I want to be sure of who and what I am.
12:53 AM
I am having a breakdown, I think.
I think it was just today that I realised that all of my friends will be springing off to college in a few months and I'll be stuck here without them. I always say that I embrace change, but now I think I fear it a bit. Then there's my problem with church and belief that failed a long time ago but has suddenly decided to resurface. I mean, seeing the world and how beautiful and cruel it can be just slapped me in the face today. I mean, what kind of God does this? Then there's this fear of not being able to identify and connect with anyone. I just feel like I'm too paradoxical and odd to truly connect with a human of any kind.
1:22 PM
I feel exhausted now. I guess it's better than repeatedly screaming and crying. I just realised that things really haven't changed from yesterday. I still repeat "La Vie Boheme" about 1432 times whenever I listen to it, I still have bad hair, etc. Still, it'd be nice to talk to a professional.