my thoughts
im in the mood to write but im not sure of what to say.
here are my thoughts:
dylan:
oh my god...dylan
it blows my mind.
i cant stop thinking of you. and to be honest, i dont really want to.
lately, you are the last thing i think about at night,
the first thing i think about in the morning and yes, you are very much in my dreams.
i cant believe the effect you have on me.
you know, i have never sang for anyone. anyone...but you.
and as bad as my voice may be you always tell me how great it is and beg me to sing more.
you always tell me im beautiful. i feel so gorgeous.
dilly i dont know what to do with myself.
im listening to all the music that reminds me of you. hehe.
and ive got the biggest grin on my face.
come to think of it. im always smiling when i think about you.
thank you for everything. im so excited.
i cant wait to see you dilly!
alex:
babe i dont know what to do.
i really want a chance with you....as long as you are willing
i dont care how long it takes and how long i have to wait...i will wait
and you know, if that chance never comes...its ok.
...as long as i dont look back in 10 years and wonder what it could have been.
i just want to know.
although i have asked and you have answered...i dont know how you feel about me.
yea, you say you like me but what does that mean exactly?
i miss you alex
and as much as you may not want to hear it...im in love with you.
here come the tears
im torn alex...really torn. and i need your help. please.
i want all of this to end up ok with everyone happy with the person they want to be with and no one hurt. but honestly, i dont see it happening and i blame myself.
im worried. i want to see you.
can you please call me when you read this?
thank you.
life:
school...im going back...i just dont know when.
im working on a conditioning schedule to get moonie back in shape.
...hoping to start the schedule on monday. if i ride before then it will just be walking.
i have to start from scratch but im hoping it will be a good thing.
we really need to polish everything up.
when he gets back in shape im going to start taking lessons from some new coaches.
im hoping that this year will be different...hoping there will be no rearing or freaking out...from either of us. haha
im hoping to show alot this year.
im hoping everything shapes up and we start winning. im hoping to go intermediate this year.
im hoping alot.
gotta call kristen to ask her for a job at the barn.
emily has to sell princess.
she will probably go for 15 or 20 thousand....sucks for me because i want her. it would be so great to have two horses to compete. maybe we would actually do pretty well.
dreams:
...with riding
these are my goals.
moonie and i will be showing alot this year. we will both be much calmer and due to the change in scenery and coaches we will polish up on much of the problems we have incurred in the past. we will complete a couple prelims...clean...then move on to a CCI*. assuming we complete that ok (we will...hahaha) we will move on up to complete a few easy intermediates. we will finish the season at intermediate and hopefully we wont be doin to shabby.
i hope all that happens. i have learned in the past to not be too strict with my goals. so as much as i want to set a time limit to all this and demand that im completing intermediate by the end of the season im not going to. im just gonna see how everything unfolds and works out and i know that whatever happens, everything will be ok.
meh ok. so i dont think i did too bad...writing everything that is. i know it got pretty bad towards the end but whatev. i dont care.
ok...im off to do something else.
thanks. bye
here are my thoughts:
dylan:
oh my god...dylan
it blows my mind.
i cant stop thinking of you. and to be honest, i dont really want to.
lately, you are the last thing i think about at night,
the first thing i think about in the morning and yes, you are very much in my dreams.
i cant believe the effect you have on me.
you know, i have never sang for anyone. anyone...but you.
and as bad as my voice may be you always tell me how great it is and beg me to sing more.
you always tell me im beautiful. i feel so gorgeous.
dilly i dont know what to do with myself.
im listening to all the music that reminds me of you. hehe.
and ive got the biggest grin on my face.
come to think of it. im always smiling when i think about you.
thank you for everything. im so excited.
i cant wait to see you dilly!
alex:
babe i dont know what to do.
i really want a chance with you....as long as you are willing
i dont care how long it takes and how long i have to wait...i will wait
and you know, if that chance never comes...its ok.
...as long as i dont look back in 10 years and wonder what it could have been.
i just want to know.
although i have asked and you have answered...i dont know how you feel about me.
yea, you say you like me but what does that mean exactly?
i miss you alex
and as much as you may not want to hear it...im in love with you.
here come the tears
im torn alex...really torn. and i need your help. please.
i want all of this to end up ok with everyone happy with the person they want to be with and no one hurt. but honestly, i dont see it happening and i blame myself.
im worried. i want to see you.
can you please call me when you read this?
thank you.
life:
school...im going back...i just dont know when.
im working on a conditioning schedule to get moonie back in shape.
...hoping to start the schedule on monday. if i ride before then it will just be walking.
i have to start from scratch but im hoping it will be a good thing.
we really need to polish everything up.
when he gets back in shape im going to start taking lessons from some new coaches.
im hoping that this year will be different...hoping there will be no rearing or freaking out...from either of us. haha
im hoping to show alot this year.
im hoping everything shapes up and we start winning. im hoping to go intermediate this year.
im hoping alot.
gotta call kristen to ask her for a job at the barn.
emily has to sell princess.
she will probably go for 15 or 20 thousand....sucks for me because i want her. it would be so great to have two horses to compete. maybe we would actually do pretty well.
dreams:
...with riding
these are my goals.
moonie and i will be showing alot this year. we will both be much calmer and due to the change in scenery and coaches we will polish up on much of the problems we have incurred in the past. we will complete a couple prelims...clean...then move on to a CCI*. assuming we complete that ok (we will...hahaha) we will move on up to complete a few easy intermediates. we will finish the season at intermediate and hopefully we wont be doin to shabby.
i hope all that happens. i have learned in the past to not be too strict with my goals. so as much as i want to set a time limit to all this and demand that im completing intermediate by the end of the season im not going to. im just gonna see how everything unfolds and works out and i know that whatever happens, everything will be ok.
meh ok. so i dont think i did too bad...writing everything that is. i know it got pretty bad towards the end but whatev. i dont care.
ok...im off to do something else.
thanks. bye