love and understanding im just a BITCH!
so everythings been goin great;work, gettin do lots of things, no more 8 or 9 oclock curfews,and that brings me to my next yeayyy... me and donovan. we were doin great till i decided i was goin to be a total, but hey thats just me for ya i guess. anyways i went over to seee him yesterda, i had the day off and had to wake up at 7 for the wisdom teeth check up. yup got them taken out.. fuckin crazy like mad scientist lookin doctor. back to the story, i went over to his house at 9:30ish and we laid in bed for a while and cuddled then had a lil... well alot of fun(it was great)then cuddled and decided we were goin to go see his sister. so we get over there and its like 2:30. his sister is gettin ready to leave wit his brother and brothers girlfriend. his sister told us that we cud go inside and chill while they were gone but her boyfriend was goin to be home at 4 or 5. i told donovan that i was goin to leave at 4 anyways since he had to work at 5. we pop in a movie and were sittin on the couch when someone knocks on the door. his uncle and grandma live just up the drive so i didnt think nething of it until he said omgsh.... he looked out the window and was like" who is tha.... omgsh!" i was like who is and he was like well u remember me tellin u bout stephani(old fuck buddy, still has the hots for him), i was like yea and he said well shes out there.he told me to stay inside and to just sit still. so i sat there, he went outside and talked her for a minute or so and came back in. i was PISSED!!!! i dunno why ... but now i do and now i no why none of my relationships ever last... its because i get so caught up in things and 1 stupid lil thing happens and i think im goin to lose him. i regret not lookin out the window, i regret not goin out there to see wut was said, i wish i cud rewind today and yesterday. i wudnt have cried and i wudnt regret so much. love is such a strong word, but not only a word a feeling. how can u truely be sure u love someone is it the thought that possibly living without them that makes u want to stay in ur room and cry all day, is it the lil butterflys u get everytime ur driving over to see them, is it the drunk feelin u get when they kiss u that special way, or is that feelin of knowin u screwed up, but your unsure if theyre goin to call you? i do feel all of these things when i think of or am with or talk to donovan. being with him is so .... wonderful it shud be illegal. and i may be settin myself up for another heartbreak, but this one will be worth it. i truely truely love him!!! so yea i guess if anyone has some advice... SPEAK UP!!!! luvs and kisses!
~~~~Jessi~~~~
~~~~Jessi~~~~