cud be happier
so valentines day was yesterday and i guess it wasnt that bad! saturday my boyfriend took me to dinner and yesterday i had to work but that was fine... it was only for 3 hours. but the thing that really gets me is matt!, he called me saturday nite when i was out wit deric, chasidy and jr. but he seemed pissed off i was out on a date. i didnt say deric was my bf cuz he probably wud have really flipped! i just dont get it... its like when i finally start thinking bout him again, he starts talkin to some girl! but when im dating a guy he gets mad about it. i asked him how it was goin wit her and he said that it didnt work out cuz when they would go out the only thing he cud think bout was me. i think its beat up and it bothers me that he still thinks bout me when he goes out on dates. yea i think bout him every once in a while, and before deric came along i thought bout him a bunch. its like one of those...when you really miss a person and just all of a sudden you wonder what theyre doin, how theyve been... and you just want to talk to them. all last week i had been wanting to talk to matt and saturday he called me but it was too late! his parents where in tennessee visiting him and he called me from his dads cell phone. i called him last nite cuz i told him i wud call him back saturday nite but he never answered. but when i called him yesterday his dad answered and said that matt was in tn and thats i guess where he is living now. i dunno what to think anymore. i really like deric and everything. and he already said that he would go to prom wit me... but im sure by or before then i will have done something stupid to make things not work out! i just dunno anymore. i really want to talk to matt but i dont want to. im happy but i feel like i cud be happier. i no what i want i just dont no where to find it! i think i just need to go think! deric is goin skiing this weekend and i guess that will impact on my thinking, then i wont have anyone to remind me of my commitment! i love it and all but some how i dont think its goin to work out!! i guess im outty! talk lata!
~~~~Jessica~~~~
~~~~Jessica~~~~