wow-
i havn'tfelt this way in a long long time, and even when i did, it was never this bad-
i can't beleave how... frustrated? i am. i feel like crying/murdering sooo bad right now.
my dad is visiting- my real dad. thisis big... HUGE for me. i can't beleave this is all happening... and i should be extremly happy. (which i completly am about my dad) but my fucking mom! i don't know how to tell her about htis, but im really upset with her right now. i mean, i understand how this might be cool for her to see my dad again as well, but i think it is ok for me to say this is a much bid=gger deal for me then her. and it REALLY REALLY PISSES ME OFF the way she is being. she is acting all show offish, and like she fuckig knows everything. she is discrediting EVERYTHING i say. everything i have said tonight is wrong in some way, and they are all personal things that i felt. i was talking about the way i felt about things (memories) and she would be like, no it was the complete opposite chance, you were this way. AS IF SHE WOULD FUCKING KNOW HOW I FELT! FUCK!
im not as mad about how she is being a total cunt as much as i am mad about her doing this to me with my dad. this is my fuckign dad i have never met, one i want to get to know one on one, and i want to share as many things as i can with in the time we have, and i seems like everytime i say soemthing, it turns (according to mom) that i am wrong in someway, or me and dad get to talking and my mom starts like... showing off. what the fuck? like she is trying to hit on him or something, like- ooo look at me look at me, and to be honest i dont' know if i have ever been this mad at her. this isn't just "wrong" it's fucked up. im about to explode in one way or another- and it doesn't help that i hear her talking shit about me in the other room.
wow- im about to freak the fuck out so im going to go.
please help if you have any comments or advice-
i can't beleave how... frustrated? i am. i feel like crying/murdering sooo bad right now.
my dad is visiting- my real dad. thisis big... HUGE for me. i can't beleave this is all happening... and i should be extremly happy. (which i completly am about my dad) but my fucking mom! i don't know how to tell her about htis, but im really upset with her right now. i mean, i understand how this might be cool for her to see my dad again as well, but i think it is ok for me to say this is a much bid=gger deal for me then her. and it REALLY REALLY PISSES ME OFF the way she is being. she is acting all show offish, and like she fuckig knows everything. she is discrediting EVERYTHING i say. everything i have said tonight is wrong in some way, and they are all personal things that i felt. i was talking about the way i felt about things (memories) and she would be like, no it was the complete opposite chance, you were this way. AS IF SHE WOULD FUCKING KNOW HOW I FELT! FUCK!
im not as mad about how she is being a total cunt as much as i am mad about her doing this to me with my dad. this is my fuckign dad i have never met, one i want to get to know one on one, and i want to share as many things as i can with in the time we have, and i seems like everytime i say soemthing, it turns (according to mom) that i am wrong in someway, or me and dad get to talking and my mom starts like... showing off. what the fuck? like she is trying to hit on him or something, like- ooo look at me look at me, and to be honest i dont' know if i have ever been this mad at her. this isn't just "wrong" it's fucked up. im about to explode in one way or another- and it doesn't help that i hear her talking shit about me in the other room.
wow- im about to freak the fuck out so im going to go.
please help if you have any comments or advice-