I need this. Badly.
I just need to get some things out there. Just to get them out of my head, where they have been giving me nothing but trouble. As if I need more anxiety in my life right now.
Here goes. Starting about 6 hours after my last post. Literally.
10:30pm- the friday I last posted, I ended up in the ER at Thompson hospital because I had what we believe was a fainting spell. I'd just finished working 10 days straight, I was nervous about my first semester. My stomach was bothering me and I was itchy. I went to take a shower and I got nausious, so I tried to get back to bed. I didnt make it back to bed. I got dizzy, and after that i remember being on the floor telling myself I'd just lay there a minute then get to bed, then asking Chris calmly if she wouldn't mind turning on the light, because I think I might be bleeding. Honestly, after that I remember being tired, and one of the doctors asking if it was possible that I might be pregnant, which it wasnt. I really just wanted to sleep, but chris wouldnt let me, because they thought i had a concussion, but the ER docs just gave me 12 stitches, while i was completely awake, and told me to go home and get some rest. YAY. I got to start my first day of college with 12 stitches in my forehead, and a huge bandage on my head, not to mention a couple small cuts on the side of my face and nose. Yeahh..that was loadds of fun. *sarcasm* Whatever. I guess since I didnt have any complications, and I'm fine now that I should consider myself lucky.
Yeahh, so college started. Met new people. didnt see josh as much as I would have liked. I felt like evryday they were asking me to spend more money I dont have. =/ Driving in was ok, driving home was alright, except on thursdays when i dont leave til 5. ugh...i loathed thursdays. I hate science. So I'm not longer pre-med. Now I'm a math major. minor in education. Hopefully I'll get my teaching certification here eventually. That'd be nice. Solid career. Anyways, Yeah..
Now Josh and I have celebrated 3 years in November, and we've been a bit rough, but I think we'll be ok. I just miss him. all the time. and when I'm with him, I'm so preoccupied with how i can make him happy that I upset him..irony's a bitch. So we've been rough. but I love him, and we're commited. We're in it for the long haul now. 'Til death do us part, love. I've told him that once I'm 21, we can be married whenever, but who knows when it'll actually happen. All we know is it will happen. the when is irrelevant at this point.
Now, talk about anxiety, I am preparing for my first Semester at SUNY Geneseo. I can't even begin to decribe how nervous I am. I'm commuting,so i can keep my job during the semester, other than that all I know is the workload will be more, and my time with josh will be less. Unfortunatly. I'm going to get to it this semester. I promised I'm going to focus, and really work on school. I promised, but I'm so nervous. I have to keep telling myself that he's only a phone call away. Always. Now it's even a free phone call, since we're both on verizon. thank god. my parents would hate our phone bill if we weren't. =P
Wow. I feel alittle better. Time for a change. Time to make this year the best possible.
-I'm out