Just a few thoughts... I thought they'd be good to get out of my head.
A lot of my dreams, if they are not nightmares, end up being me looking and seeing something, but I can never quite grasp it, feel it, touch it, hold it, feel the warmth come off of it. I am always reaching for something that isn't truly there. That is what I dream.
I have always wanted someone to love me. And I have wanted them to tell me that they loved me any chance that they get. The problem with that is, I don't want them to tell me that they love me unless they truly do. I mean, if they're telling me they love me to make me feel better, don't do it. Only say those three little words, those eight little letters, if you truly mean them with every strand of your being.
'When my heart found love, my mind was set.' That, I think, is the most true line of my life right there. My mind is set and made up and I can't get it to change from that one person, you know? I used to [and I'll admit, I still do], see a future. But now I'm not sure and my mind won't change. So what happens when that future wants to become reality but it's with a different person? My mind will tell me that it's wrong, and I'll try not to listen to it, only my heart, but my heart has found love, and it aches to get that love back. That makes no sense, but my heart has found love, and my mind is set.
I'm afraid to say what I feel when I feel it, and I never want to lose him, ever, and there are a lot of times when I wish I could tell him what I'm feeling, but it's not that I'm not scared of him judging me, he's told me he never will, I'm just scared of how he'll act, and if I say these things will it change anything? everything? nothing? his feelings? MY feelings? I'm scared to know what he will say, how he will act, if anything and everything will change, if, by saying something, I will end up changing... It's all just one big mess with my feelings right now... and I'm just scared.
I never will love anyone truly like I love him. There is only space for one person to be loved the way he is loved in my heart, and he filled that space because he got there first. He stole my heart, whether he knows it or not. No person will ever be to me what he is to me, and I will always compare other people to him. I know I sound crazy or something, but I honestly don't care. If I'm speaking the truth, it doesn't matter to me if I sound crazy. He will always have my heart, or at least a huge piece of it, and there is nothing anybody can do to stop that at all. He will always be in my heart and in my mind, and nobody will ever mean this much to me. Apparently he's the one, even if we haven't figured it out yet.
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And that completes this portion of my thoughts for the day. And they all have to do with love. Why does that surprise me as much as it does? Oh well, here they are, hope you at least got to think or go "OMG, I already KNEW that!" or whatever it is that you think lol.
I have always wanted someone to love me. And I have wanted them to tell me that they loved me any chance that they get. The problem with that is, I don't want them to tell me that they love me unless they truly do. I mean, if they're telling me they love me to make me feel better, don't do it. Only say those three little words, those eight little letters, if you truly mean them with every strand of your being.
'When my heart found love, my mind was set.' That, I think, is the most true line of my life right there. My mind is set and made up and I can't get it to change from that one person, you know? I used to [and I'll admit, I still do], see a future. But now I'm not sure and my mind won't change. So what happens when that future wants to become reality but it's with a different person? My mind will tell me that it's wrong, and I'll try not to listen to it, only my heart, but my heart has found love, and it aches to get that love back. That makes no sense, but my heart has found love, and my mind is set.
I'm afraid to say what I feel when I feel it, and I never want to lose him, ever, and there are a lot of times when I wish I could tell him what I'm feeling, but it's not that I'm not scared of him judging me, he's told me he never will, I'm just scared of how he'll act, and if I say these things will it change anything? everything? nothing? his feelings? MY feelings? I'm scared to know what he will say, how he will act, if anything and everything will change, if, by saying something, I will end up changing... It's all just one big mess with my feelings right now... and I'm just scared.
I never will love anyone truly like I love him. There is only space for one person to be loved the way he is loved in my heart, and he filled that space because he got there first. He stole my heart, whether he knows it or not. No person will ever be to me what he is to me, and I will always compare other people to him. I know I sound crazy or something, but I honestly don't care. If I'm speaking the truth, it doesn't matter to me if I sound crazy. He will always have my heart, or at least a huge piece of it, and there is nothing anybody can do to stop that at all. He will always be in my heart and in my mind, and nobody will ever mean this much to me. Apparently he's the one, even if we haven't figured it out yet.
______________________________________________________________
And that completes this portion of my thoughts for the day. And they all have to do with love. Why does that surprise me as much as it does? Oh well, here they are, hope you at least got to think or go "OMG, I already KNEW that!" or whatever it is that you think lol.