(no subject)

[iluvcookiedough]

It is amazing how your point of view on something can shift so drastically in a matter of hours. I was so angry and bitter earlier, until I realized it just is not worth it. No, defending yourself is worth it. You should never allow someone to step all over you and treat you horribly just because you feel fighting is a waste of time. But fighting isn't worth it when the only way you feel you'll "win" the arguement is by trying to change the other person. People have both good and bad qualities and you're never going to come across someone who is perfect. While I still feel hurt and disappointed, I know this is simply the way things will be and if that is going to be that then well I'm going to have to accept it and get on with MY life. Yes, my life because that is something I have yet to truly focus in on. I am too concerned with what this person is doing and what that person isn't, and I am too afraid to make important decisions on my own. Well, here it is...it's all me from now on and although I was sort of forced into this I am not forced into staying like this, I choose to be. Who knows what will be happening this time next year, things could be amazing. I'm going to try my best to stop worrying all the time and actually try and enjoy myself and all of the opportunites my life has afforded me. I pray, pray things will work themselves out....ah, screw it I know they will.

For the first time in awhile I am actually excited to see where life takes me, I'm actually beginning to realize I am strong enough to take risks and do things differently.