i've been thinking...
The notion that there is one person for everyone....of the feeling that one must marry in their lifetime...it all seems to be this way of fulfilling the need to have someone to rely on. Similar to the belief that people believe in God to make themselves feel better, for a source of comfort.
Marriage is this contract between two people that they will be the support system for one another. They are vowing to be there when times get rough, in the chance that no one else is. They are given this responsibility, though it is a reciprocal relationship. While it is a nice thing to have no doubt, is this the only reason everyone gets married...so they have that certainty someone will be there? Can't you just have like friendships with sex or ahhh, i dont really know how to put it or even what i mean. It just seems so pathetic to marry someone so you'll always have this support system, this buddy for life..by law haha. I mean I was talking to Mickey last night and I was thinking about responsibility and shit and I realized that I am totally going to lose it when my parents die. Like, what if I'm not married? Who will I know, that will be there for me no matter what? I don't want this to be my reason to get married sooner rather than later or not at all.
I'm not happy with the contradictory feeling of the need for marriage and the continual curiousity seen in others, despite the feeling that you have found that "one" suitable for marriage.
I want to shoot myself because I don't know what I want, or rather I want it all and it isn't possible.
I'm also displeased with this realization I've come to:
I'm struggling through school, have, for the majority of my life to work towards this end. This end that isn't even a guaranteed happy end. What if I graduate and become a social worker and hate it? What the fuck then? I'm pissed that there are no guarantees and it really makes me contemplate just giving up on everything.
But then again these feelings are somewhat fleeting and my outlook on the matter can change tomorrow. I'm just fed up with not having the answers and being uncertain of everything you fucking motherfucker.
haha
Marriage is this contract between two people that they will be the support system for one another. They are vowing to be there when times get rough, in the chance that no one else is. They are given this responsibility, though it is a reciprocal relationship. While it is a nice thing to have no doubt, is this the only reason everyone gets married...so they have that certainty someone will be there? Can't you just have like friendships with sex or ahhh, i dont really know how to put it or even what i mean. It just seems so pathetic to marry someone so you'll always have this support system, this buddy for life..by law haha. I mean I was talking to Mickey last night and I was thinking about responsibility and shit and I realized that I am totally going to lose it when my parents die. Like, what if I'm not married? Who will I know, that will be there for me no matter what? I don't want this to be my reason to get married sooner rather than later or not at all.
I'm not happy with the contradictory feeling of the need for marriage and the continual curiousity seen in others, despite the feeling that you have found that "one" suitable for marriage.
I want to shoot myself because I don't know what I want, or rather I want it all and it isn't possible.
I'm also displeased with this realization I've come to:
I'm struggling through school, have, for the majority of my life to work towards this end. This end that isn't even a guaranteed happy end. What if I graduate and become a social worker and hate it? What the fuck then? I'm pissed that there are no guarantees and it really makes me contemplate just giving up on everything.
But then again these feelings are somewhat fleeting and my outlook on the matter can change tomorrow. I'm just fed up with not having the answers and being uncertain of everything you fucking motherfucker.
haha