(no subject)
bought some illegal substances tonight. sean was there. he was so mad and he said it was like he got punched in the gut. when i first started going out with him, i knew he had done some drugs, but i hadnt been around him doing that 'harder' drugs. then the first time he had me over for a little get-together he did some stuff. and it scared me and i got worried, but i told him i didnt mind that he can do whatever he wants. well about a month ago i bought stuff. btw he hasnt done anything since that party in august. well when i bought that he was a little upset but i thought it was because i tried to hide it from him. no good. i feel really bad about that to. but he told me to do whatever i want. so i did tonight. its been a while since i last did. well sean was there when i gave the money and he was soooooooo mad. he thought that if he gave me the respect and quit when i told him i was worried that i wouldnt have done it either. oops! i wasn't thinking. i love him so much and i never want to hurt him or make him feel bad or mad. but it was too late the deal was done. but now im going to get rid of it. i want him to be happy. cuz he said he was doing it because it made him happy so now theres no reason for him not to do it. aaaaaaaaah anyway, i better go and start my essay especially because its due tomorrow