(no subject)
why does life have to be so hard?
why do i cry all the time?
why do i care so much?
i'm sick of hurting.
i'm sick of crying.
i'm sick of caring.
he held me while i was crying.
even when i felt as if i wanted
to be a million miles away from him,
but be in his arms at the exact same time.
he told me how much he cares about me
and how i'm a great girl and that i'm
gonna do really great things in my life.
and that he thinks i'm beautiful, even though
he knows i don't feel beautiful at all.
and all it did was make me cry even more.
why does it feel as if the ones i love the most
are the ones that end up hurting me?
everyone i let my guard down, and really, truly
care about someone, they hurt me.
i was told that "that's life"
but why does life have to be like that?
i don't ever wanna get close to someone again
because i'm so scared that i'm gonna get hurt.
relationship wise, friendship wise... i'm so scared.
especially relationship wise.
i have no desire to meet anyone or date anyone.
i can't have the one person i love more than anyone
and i don't know if i ever will.
he's my best friend in the entire world,
and i'm SO grateful for his friendship.
who knows. things have been so screwed up
with our relationship since basically the day we met.
but the only important thing
is that he's the most
awesome, amazing friend in the world.
and he's been there for me when no one else has.
especially lately.
didn't mean to start rambling about him.
no, he's not the reason i'm crying.
he's not the reason i'm so upset.
it's a million different things
that i've let build up for a while.
ahh, i dunno.
i just wanna stop crying....
i need to go to bed.
after all that crying,
i finally fell asleep..
and ended up waking up at 1:30
when i was supposed to leave at 11.
but i'm still dead tired..
and i have work at 7.. blah.
why do i cry all the time?
why do i care so much?
i'm sick of hurting.
i'm sick of crying.
i'm sick of caring.
he held me while i was crying.
even when i felt as if i wanted
to be a million miles away from him,
but be in his arms at the exact same time.
he told me how much he cares about me
and how i'm a great girl and that i'm
gonna do really great things in my life.
and that he thinks i'm beautiful, even though
he knows i don't feel beautiful at all.
and all it did was make me cry even more.
why does it feel as if the ones i love the most
are the ones that end up hurting me?
everyone i let my guard down, and really, truly
care about someone, they hurt me.
i was told that "that's life"
but why does life have to be like that?
i don't ever wanna get close to someone again
because i'm so scared that i'm gonna get hurt.
relationship wise, friendship wise... i'm so scared.
especially relationship wise.
i have no desire to meet anyone or date anyone.
i can't have the one person i love more than anyone
and i don't know if i ever will.
he's my best friend in the entire world,
and i'm SO grateful for his friendship.
who knows. things have been so screwed up
with our relationship since basically the day we met.
but the only important thing
is that he's the most
awesome, amazing friend in the world.
and he's been there for me when no one else has.
especially lately.
didn't mean to start rambling about him.
no, he's not the reason i'm crying.
he's not the reason i'm so upset.
it's a million different things
that i've let build up for a while.
ahh, i dunno.
i just wanna stop crying....
i need to go to bed.
after all that crying,
i finally fell asleep..
and ended up waking up at 1:30
when i was supposed to leave at 11.
but i'm still dead tired..
and i have work at 7.. blah.