(no subject)
Man, I love being depressed. I can't help it, I'm just sad about being alive, if that makes any sense. I'm sad because I am alive, and I don't quite see what there is to live for. I just don't, as sick as that may seem.... I just got off the phone with Albert and we we're talking about an upsetting subject again, it's shitty. I hope everything turns out okay with that, eh.
I love this necklace that Joy lended to me, these pink pearls. *smiles*
I've clearly decided that I'm going to stop trying to figure life out. It's not going to work.... I can't figure out everything, and I will never know everything. So, I'm going to stop being upset and mad at myself for not being able to figure out how life works. I don't even know what it is that's making me upset and mad, because there isn't that much wrong with my life. I have it really good, I know a few good people, and I have a few good friends. That's all I should need? I guess it's just me being lonely, that's what's making me like this. Lack of compassion in my life has driven me insane, I don't even know if I feel anymore. Completely and utterly depressing if you ask me, not knowing if you can feel anymore because you've felt so much. I mean, I've made alot of fucking mistakes in my life, alot. I've given myself to people that didn't deserve me, I've done things to my body that I shouldn't have done, lot's of stuff. It just all makes me feel like a horrible person, but from this day forward, I am a changed woman *giggles* No, seriousley. No more fucking around, I'm just gunna become the good person I used to be. I'm going to start doing school work, I'm going to go sign up for DBCC, I'm going to say bye bye to drugs and alcohol and everything for good, no turning back. And I'm serious about it this time. Seriousley serious.
attention, attention, that's all we're asking for....
I love this necklace that Joy lended to me, these pink pearls. *smiles*
I've clearly decided that I'm going to stop trying to figure life out. It's not going to work.... I can't figure out everything, and I will never know everything. So, I'm going to stop being upset and mad at myself for not being able to figure out how life works. I don't even know what it is that's making me upset and mad, because there isn't that much wrong with my life. I have it really good, I know a few good people, and I have a few good friends. That's all I should need? I guess it's just me being lonely, that's what's making me like this. Lack of compassion in my life has driven me insane, I don't even know if I feel anymore. Completely and utterly depressing if you ask me, not knowing if you can feel anymore because you've felt so much. I mean, I've made alot of fucking mistakes in my life, alot. I've given myself to people that didn't deserve me, I've done things to my body that I shouldn't have done, lot's of stuff. It just all makes me feel like a horrible person, but from this day forward, I am a changed woman *giggles* No, seriousley. No more fucking around, I'm just gunna become the good person I used to be. I'm going to start doing school work, I'm going to go sign up for DBCC, I'm going to say bye bye to drugs and alcohol and everything for good, no turning back. And I'm serious about it this time. Seriousley serious.
attention, attention, that's all we're asking for....