Lucy Stillman ❖ 001 [Video]

[assassininheels]

[The video feed starts with the Portal of who's ever on being dropped on the floor of a bedroom. The view then settles on a blond young woman, her face conveying her panic and pain as she looks down at her heavily blood stained shirt. The blood seems fresh enough to transfer to her hands, but she lifts up the fabric to reveal the creamy skin of

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voice;

[assassininheels]

[When the image disappears, Lucy frowns. She's seen his failed attempt at smiling back at her and something gnaws at her. Did something happen here for Desmond to avoid her? Now that he can't see her, she lifts up the mask from her face and her gaze raises back up to her mirror before she closes her eyes. Trying as hard as she can to focus on his voice, Lucy tries not to let herself get caught up in the maelstrom of emotions that swirls and veers inside her stomach. The Assassin can't help but pray that Rebecca is still here, even though the technician would do better good in their world. But what she'd give to be told that had all been a nightmare.]

That is strange indeed. How long have you been back?

[She clears her throat lightly as the novice asks her how she feels. It's a good thing he can't see her, because she's covering her eyes with one hand, willing her voice to sound as strong as normal as she can.]

I'm fine. I'm just...frazzled at being back here I guess. This place is not what I expected to wake up to.

[She bites her lower lip, hoping her lie is going to stick. In truth, she's a mess, even though she doesn't want to admit it. She's angry and scared, sad and eaten by guilt. A part of her wants to punch Desmond as hard as she can, yell at him for betraying them all, for breaking her heart, for not letting her help him as much as she should have. Another part just want to hug him and thank the Heavens he's well and lucid and not insane and wants to have answers to her questions and fears. And lastly, part of her simply wants to curl over and cry and will herself to forget the whole thing. But instead, Lucy swallows slowly and tries to steel herself, because she can't afford to break down now, not when she needs to regroup in this place, not when Desmond doesn't know what had transpired at the Temple.

There's a pause before she finally asks, because this suspicious feeling just won't go away]

....Are you?

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[assassininheels]

So you're just about done settling in?

[She hears the heavy sigh and because she can't see him, Lucy puts it on the account that he probably is tired and annoyed at her always asking about his well being. But it's a second nature for her, and not only to Desmond.]

Please tell me your accent is better than it used to be in the Sanctuary.

[Yes, she's referring to that time you spoke to the statue, Desmond. Her tone is teasing lightly and it's because she can't help herself from hanging on to lighter moments spent with her team. As if the warmth and light of their memories would make her stabbing fade away.

There's an obvious sigh of relief when Desmond mentions Rebecca]

Becca is still here? And yes, we should meet. Regroup and all. I'm sure a lot of things happened while I was gone. I certainly need to be brought up to date.

[Work. Another thing she can hang on to in order to stay sane and focused.]

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[assassininheels]

[It feels safer for her to simply push away all that she feels about Desmond, about what he did to her in the Temple, especially that he doesn't know about it, or so Lucy thinks.]

Good, perhaps you can teach me then.

Yes, back to work, Desmond. Although for you, it's back to training. I hope you enjoyed your first month here, because come tomorrow morning, we're running at dawn again. [It's probably a good thing that her can't see her face right now: she might have been smirking a bit dangerously here.]

When and where do you want to meet?

[Part of her wants to say right here and right now, but she lets the novice choose. She needs to change from her bloodied clothes first anyway.]

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[assassininheels]

I'm glad she still has her dog here. I know she missed Ollie a lot...back home. [Her voice softens and nearly breaks at the mention of 'home', but Lucy clears her throat, mentally cursing herself for her lack of strength there. When she speaks again, her voice doesn't falter]

We'll see tomorrow morning how much in shape you've stayed.

[Despite having previously wished for them to meet right away, Desmond's decision to do so takes Lucy a bit by surprise. It shouldn't have, really, since there's still no indications that the novice knows what happened to her. He shouldn't be hesitant to meet with her, and he doesn't seem to either. But now face with the reality of facing him, the blond is not sure she can. She's not sure she is going to be able to keep this mask on for long, this fake air of normalcy when everything has been thrown over in her life. She nods even though Desmond can't see it, her heart sinking even further as he mentions the need to talk to her.]

I....Give me half an hour and I'll be there. [She says nothing else, not even acknowledging his last words before closing off the conversation.

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Now changed from her bloodied clothes, the Assassin uses the rooftops to get to Desmond's place, orienting herself as much as she could from her memories before checking her PORTAL for better indications. It's clear that she'll need to run more often, so she can map out mentally the best routes and the blond focuses on that so she can't think about meeting up with the bartender. But soon enough, she gets to the right building and she climbs the stairs, slowing down as she nears the door to his room.

Lucy raises a hand to knock on the wood but she stops herself at the last second, splaying her hand on the door instead. Tensed, she frowns and closes her eyes, battling the memories that seems to resurface so quickly now. Part of her wants to snort at her struggle, reminding her that this is what Desmond do every day, but with the memories of his ancestors' lives. But it doesn't make it any easier, not when faced with the memories of your own death, or possible death and potential betrayal.

But Lucy manages to calm herself down after a long moment and she slowly blinks her eyes open, steeling her will once more as this time her fist hit the door three times.]

Desmond?

[She can do this. She really can. She has to.]

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[assassininheels]

[When the door opens after what seems an eternity to Lucy, she can't help but tensed as she stands face to face with Desmond. She knows she should pull him into a hug, if only to be able to believe that she's really there over keeping the appearance for his sake, but the blond find herself frozen on the door step. when she manages to look up at him all she can see in the back of her mind are how scared and hurt and lost he had look just before the Hidden Blade had pierced her stomach. For the first time in her life, for the briefest moment, Lucy feels like bolting out. But the blond swallows and nods back at Desmond, finally moving as she walks in.]

Hey.

[Nothing else seems to be able to leave her lips. No teasing, no remarks about his living quarters, about the month he spent here before she arrived. It had been easier on the PORTAL, to ignore everything that had went on before she made it to this place, but now, now her will is crumbling and Lucy feels like she's clawing herself out of a wormhole. Feeling like this a surreal moment, the Assassin walks silently to the living room and sits down on the couch. Collecting her thoughts, she looks at the novice before she finds her voice again.]

You said you needed to talk to me. I know you Desmond, you don't evade people unless there's something going on. Talk to me, what's wrong? Did something happened here while I was gone?

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[assassininheels]

[For some reasons, Lucy feels a cold shiver run down her spine but she manages to nod.]

All right. I'm listening.

[It's easy to feel the tension in the room and the blond registers that this is probably the first time they feel uncomfortable with one another since they left Abstergo. At least for her. The guilt in Desmond's eyes worries her and she finds that air doesn't seem to flow that easily in her throat. Maybe if Lucy hasn't tried so hard to convince herself that the novice doesn't know about Juno's Temple, she would have picked up the hints that would have led her to anticipate the turn of the discussion.

The mention of the Colosseum and the Apple makes her wince unconsciously, one hand raising on its own to rest over the covered scar on her stomach]

Yes, of course I remember. Shaun was trying to figure out the symbols the Apple was projecting when you touched it and...

[...And then all she can remember is suddenly looking into his eyes and feeling the pain of her stab wound. Lucy looks down at her lap, frowning as she convinces herself that this is for the best. That she can't tell Desmond he's going to stab her in the few moments after what he remembers. She's trained to lie evenly and she knows she can do it well, it saved her life at Abstergo, but it still kills her that she's doing it to Desmond. The only thing left now is for him to believe her]

...That's the last thing I remember.

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[assassininheels]

[Desmond's angry outburst does nothing to help Lucy reign in her emotions and she glares up at him, wondering how he dares raise his voice when she's the one that lies in a pool of blood in their world. She has every rights to be angry with him and for the faintest moment, all she wants is to slap him. But their eyes meet and the blond realizes the heavy consequences of his angry words: he knows. The sudden realization even wipes out the fact that he's picked so easily on her lie. Her own anger dies and Lucy is left with an inquiring look]

....You....you know? [She pauses, breathes because somehow she's afraid she's going to choke before she frowns] For how long? Since when have you have known? [Did Desmond hid this from her since the very beginning?

The agitated retelling of what had happened leaves her gasping lightly and the blond slowly swallows. It wasn't his own doing. The guilt, the anger, the painful expression he gave her just before stabbing her, it's all explained now. It doesn't make any more sense to the Assassin, but to know that Desmond never meant to hurt her, never meant to betray his team seems to make the pain less heavy to bear, even if it doesn't make it disappear.

Lucy barely thinks when she watches Desmond fall down to his knees: instinctively she's on her own to catch him, thinking he was having a moment of weakness. She hears his apology and while she wishes she could tell him that everything is all right, she can't. Instead, Lucy wraps her arms around Desmond's neck, pulling him into a hug. There's nothing else she feels she can do to help, and as she looks at the ceiling, blinking away the tears that threatens to spill over, she takes in a trembling breath. Just like before, Lucy knows she needs to be the strong one, the one everyone leans on despite having her own doubts and weaknesses. She swallows the ball of emotions in her throat, pushing down the sadness at knowing that when she'll be leaving this world, she'll never see him again. Or Becca, or even Shaun. She locks deep within the guilt that gnaws at her for not being able to protect Desmond better than she did Sixteen. In the end, she did lost him, she couldn't keep him from turning insane, from seeing his mind being broke by the overuse of the Animus. She knows she shouldn't have caved in and let him decide how long he could stay in the machine.

Lucy keeps herself from breaking down, because she knows Desmond needs her strong. Perhaps once she's alone, she can try to understand everything that seems to want to bubble to the surface. But for now, she tightens her hold on him, because there's nothing she finds appropriate to say.]

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[assassininheels]

[Lucy feels the push and loosens her arms from around his neck, for the first time feeling how awkward this hug had been. But it's when Desmond cups her face that she tenses, feeling a small wave of panic twisting the knot in her stomach. The thought of this gesture being an intimate one doesn't even cross the blond's mind: all she can think of is how she's not sure she can face him yet. Not like that, not with no chance to evade his gaze. Her hands, now dropped back onto her lap, curl into fists there, as if it will give Lucy some sort of strength to cling to something.

But the panic is quickly and irrationally replaced by anger as Desmond seems to write her off that quickly. It's stupid, the wound she received is deep and most likely fatal, but her survival instincts stirs inside and she clings to the hope that help came in time for her. But still, Lucy can't help but feel disappointed and deceived by Desmond as he reveals that he knew about this for a long time. She knows it's hypocritical of her to want him to tell her everything while she had been willing to lie to him so he wouldn't know he had stabbed her. But with no time to think this whole situation over, Lucy finds that nothing seems to make sense to her.

She draws in a shaking breath as Desmond apologizes and tries as hard as she can not to squirm away as he hold on her face gets stronger. His words clash into her head and while she can make out that he's truly sorry about this, Lucy feels like she's drowning into a mix of emotions again. She blinks and breathes out the air she hasn't even been aware she kept in. Uncurling her fists, she raises them to take the novice's hands of her face. She needs time to digest this, she needs time to adjust to this place again, she needs time to make peace with dying. But instead, Lucy uses her work as a refuge from the emotional journey she has to make.]

I.....You....you say you heard a voice....that couldn't make move....what happened? Please Desmond....help me understand what happened...

[Because it happened to fast for the blond to truly know what went on beside the end results.]