(no subject)
so i just got back from sonny's and listening to jimmy and calco laugh hysterically about what is going to happen to me this weekend. as i was driving home i thought about alot of stuff. i really don't think i have any real friends, i mean the criticism has gotten to the point where i almost can't hanlde it. i don't understand what i do to deserve any of it. okay i admit i think i am always right and that can be annoying, but other than that i don't understand why everyone makes fun of me? if your reading this and think i'm a little baby you can go fuck off because you don't realize that ever since i can remember my "friends" have done nothing but make fun of me for no reason. i don't make fun of any of these people i surround myself with. i don't do any cruel things to them. i never have. so why all my so called friends do it i would really like to know. it's probably because i can't do anything about it, or maybe its the fact that i take it. a little poking fun would be fine-but its so much more than that. i'm real upset right now. this is one of the worst days of my life. the last 4 girls i've liked-none as much as the last-all wanna just be friends. you're such a nice guy joe. wow how many times have i heard that. i don't get it. me and misha are no longer "together" but then again i guess we never were. that makes me feel real great and on top of that my "friends" are planning on totally and completely humiliating me this weekend. i mean how much can a guy take? isn't there a point where enough is enough? i'm feeling so damn bad for myself right now i don't know what to do. what have i ever done to deserve this? i try to be a good guy-and this is what happens? i don't know how much more criticsm i can take. i don't know how much more rejection i can take. do one of my parents have to die? do i have to do something so drastic that you guys will fear me and think i'm pyscho? whatever. i'm gonna go to bed. i do have a message tho to my "friends" aka the burns circle of trust: if you have any respect for me at all, if you really consider me your friend or vice versa then you will think twice about doing whatever you planned on doing this weekend. you guys humiliate me enough as it is...i mean i'm already known around school as a pedofile, a jew, and you show me no respect when it comes to my swimming-there is a point at which you need to learn to grow up.