Material humans.
I wanted to but im not going to. I hypocriticized Niky for doing what she did but when too much was just a little too much I did it too. I joined S.A.D.D. for sad kids like i once was. thats why im not going to. Going around drug addicted psychos wont make me feel better. Hes never going to like me and I'm sticking to that. Niky makes me feel like i don't have enough time to appreciate the better things in life. Niky makes me feel like I neede to join S.A.D.D. she made me want to. She made me. shes my best friend. Yet in some way I feel nothing towards my end of the deal. SHe makes me feel like I have nothing to obtain in life. And that good. SHe makes me feel happy. Wrestlers. She makes me cry sometimes. In a good way. But a sad way. She makes me think about how much of a slut or whore I've been. She makes me think how she's everyone's favorite. She makes me feel not good enough. B/c she is good enough. for anyone. She makes me laugh. She granny hits guys who are mean. She isn't there for me though. Because I'm never there for her. We lost our true friendship that used to count. She used to bea part of me now she's just a friend. i don't have that special feeling i had from her anymore. When I used to sit in Mr. Price's room and cry and she'd bitch at him for not caring. We have that no more. She comforted me when Bryan make mean jokes. But now it's all gone. Our friendship we had is gone. I doubt it will ever come back those are the things that comes with high school. I guess. I'm mad b/c I ruined one of my great relationships with a person I cared about a lot. He made me feel like I had the best of life. But he made me sad about it. He was so logical. Talking to him even makes me feel like i'm still his friend but down inside I know that we'll never be any of the sort. he told me. I deserved it. i deserved it for being me. for my dad, my mom, my sister, Niky, Evan, and my long lost friend Chritina. I miss all of them. And I doubt they'll ever come back.