There's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight
I. Hey guys! No, I'm not dead. I've just had some real busy, up-and-down last weeks to count for and I've just been to effed to update. I think that's going to change now, however. This week I'm going to try & find a new, purdy layout, apply that and also buy a paid account! Yowsa. Any help with that would be appreciated: any pretty layouts you've seen, anything at all...
Considering that me and my father, who I've always been closer to than my mother, nowadays talk on about a once per week basis - and it's always conflicted: when he calls I never have time to talk and when I call him he never has the time - it was just wonderful seeing him again. Despite the fact that he was a trainwreck reg. his physical health, after having gotten a falling horse over him during Friday.
Why is it that we always save the most difficult conversations for the least oppurtune moments? (which, when we look back, perhaps were the most oppurtune after all and precisly in the moment they were supposed to be) My dad drove me home and just as we got closer to where I live we started talking about the heavier emotional stuff; he told me his deals and I admitted to him one of my issues: of being so torn between my life here in Sweden and the one down in Australia.
As we did this, he really opened my eyes to some things I hadn't thought of before, as if they were the most obvious things ever, and I cursed myself after, feeling stupid for not having thought of them myself. But, like he told me, when I've set my mind on something I always put myself down a one-way street; I see the big picture and have a hard time seeing all the small nuances. While he never gives me advice along the lines of "this is what you should do..." he offers me just what I need: suggestions, some ideas, insights and ways I've not thought of before myself... and it's always just what I need.
I just hope he knows how thankful I am for it. I always feel like just saying it isn't enough.
Other than that, we had a pleasant, good time. We ate Chinese and just lazy watched TV during Saturday, then I slept at home to Sunday, where dad came and picked me up and we went out to the place where I have my horses stabled up where there were show jumping competitions, watched them, and after I jumped one of my horses with him instructing; then me, him and mom went out to IKEA and I bought some stuff there. We ate dinner there then went home and had coffee, just talked about this or that.
We may be going to London just before Xmas or perhaps Barcelona together some time within the next 4 months or so, just for a long-weekend. If we're going before Xmas I definetly think we'll be heading for London, but if we can't make our schedueles meet and we have to do it after Xmas, I think we'll head to Barcelona or possibly Madrid instead.
We're gonna look into it more, either of them would be great fun and superduper for my travellous (yes it's a word... now) mind :D!
III. I went to IKEA today, just to buy some minor stuff like vases, candles and minor flowers. Every time I'm there I feel SO DAMN SWEDISH and it sort of makes me want to run down the halls waving a yellow-and-blue flag throwing meatballs and potatoes at all the other middle-way Swedes around me. I like IKEA. It's a store of home.
IV. I bought Dr. Zjivago, the Keira Knightley & Hans Matheson version, on DVD today! :D I found it in one of those special price boxes for only 89SEK/~$12 and considering it's a 4hour series and also bought in Sweden, that's totally cheap. On Thursday I'll probably watch it and cry my eyes & heart out. I LOVE it.
V. Man, I have SO MUCH music I want to talk about, but I'll devote a post some time during the week to that instead. For this very moment (like, 5mins ago) I kind of love these lyrics from Keane's Pretend that you're alone:
We are just the monkeys, who fell out of the trees
We are blisters on the earth
...
I wonder what I'd do, if I could wake up every morning
With a clean slate
I'd burn through the cities, I'd tear through the towns
Cos there's no deals to make
So break out of the cages, the delicate structures
We cling to all our lives
Cos we are just the monkeys, who fell out of the trees
When we were trying to fly
Oh, and the song - as the entire album, actually - is pretty good too. You can download it here ;)
VI. SPN has sort of been kicking ass this season. Howdy and yowsa at the same time! Who ever would have thought that an angel would be creepy-hot? I know they're totally going down the mythology-path of Spawn (& the likes) but I'm totally down with that. Me like.
VII. If I've forgotten to wish any of you guys on my flist happy b-day when it's been yours, I just want to apologise. The thing is that for me birthdays aren't that big of a deal; this mindset some times makes it so that half-forget that others might be.
VIII. Now I need to eff the hell off to bed already. Got a busy-bee-bumbling week to go with and stuff to do -- meet ya in the sphere, guys!