(no subject)

[iloveyouguys]

i had plans. i meant it when i said all i wanted for my birthday was to spend time with him. i had even come up with a christmas present for him that would take care of that. and he wouldnt even have to pay. i wanted to kiss him at midnight on new years eve. and now none of thats going to happen. i'll probably see him on my birthday but it won't be the same. and theres so much i have to say to him. but i cant say it. i cant remember the last thing i thought that wasn't about him. i couldnt sleep last night because i was so excited that he would be calling me in the morning. i think im handling this so well lately because im in denial. i feel like i can win him back. that soon he'll realize what he's missing. and then i remember that i'm not good enough for him. i never thought i was. and it's sad. seven years of liking him, and i get five months. i'm grateful, but i wanted more.

and on top of all that. i feel like the worst friend in the world.