It's a little long, I know, I'm sorry.
The more you try to deny what I say the more you’ll realize how true it is.
I really am just a mistake. My mom doesn’t want me most of the time, I get blamed for every single thing, I get put down more than you can imagine, no one thinks I’m going to graduate, I’m not good enough, my friends or so called friends ditch me for guys, they lie to my face, they back-stab me, I have no purpose, I’m always in the way, I’m always holding someone back, I can’t do anything right, I’m only good for being used and once you’ve done that there’s nothing left of me, I’m really annoying, I get on everyone’s nerves, I’m not pretty for anything, I suck at everything I do or try to do, I never have anyone there to support me, no one cares that I have feelings but by now their hurting so bad you might as well keep them, I’ve never had a boyfriend, you make me feel like a piece of worthless crap, no one ever wants to do anything with me, I always get stood up, all my friends I thought I had left me, and everything is heading down the steepest hill I’ve ever come across. I don’t think I’m going to make it over this hill, guys, so thanks for all you’ve put me through sometimes I think well maybe I deserve it because I don’t belong here, I mean who am I? Who do you want me to be? And why do I never compare? I can’t even fathom the reason why you would do this to me! I really, really, can not at all, I don’t understand half the things that go on but this one I think tops it. I don’t know what else to say but I’m really hurt and I try to play it off when I’m around you and others that it’s not a big deal so that I don’t “overreact” since I guess I seem to do that too, but maybe it’s not me maybe I don’t overreact but you just don’t know it all. If you had to be for a day you’d see and then maybe you wouldn’t think I “overreact” and everything else I do wrong in your eyes, it’s not all about the way you see it and interpret it, it’s also the way that person is feeling the way that their trying to cope with it all, you don’t know that there’s more on their mind than that and there’s too much to handle, you just don’t know and maybe I “overreact” in not knowing how you were trying to be towards me, but there’s always two sides to everything but most of the time you only pay attention to one. I know I may not be the person that everyone wants me to be, but yet I don’t really care anymore because I’m not getting anywhere with doing things that way and I would like to be myself instead of being what you have made me. All I do is take crap from everyone and sometimes really I don’t’ even react to the things that I should. I always let people walk all over me all the time and I know I do because you can use me that’s what I’m good for because I’m the one who’s truthful and always there for you and would never think of hurting you like the way you hurt me, even if I had that chance because you see I’m nothing like that but no one really takes the chance to get to know me even more because I’m too much for them already by that time. Now I’m just out looking for my real friends, the ones who will just let me cry on their shoulder without criticism, the ones who will listen to me for just a second and let me listen to them for the rest of the time, the ones who want to hang out with me and be with me, the ones who won’t use me for nothing then throw me away, but most of all the ones who will look the deepest and find someone who hasn’t quite found love and doesn’t know how to be loved by anyone, in hopes of finding it.