(no subject)
Sometimes I wish i could have a "normal" life. At least in financial terms. Everybody around me has been to a foreign country, whether they just got back or are planning to go backpacking through France this summer, and even at school, all the other voice majors are going to italy to immerse themselves in the italian language and perform opera there...but i have to work, work, work if i want to stay in school. It sucks sometimes. Christmas kinda sucks knowing i'm not getting presents this year. Knowing that no matter how hard I work on my undergrad...paying for grad school will be next to impossible. But I guess everybody has their challenges in life, whether they're ones we create ourselves, or that other people create for us. I guess the financial challenge isn't my fault...but that just makes it all the more frustrating. I guess I should just focus on my challenge that I have created for myself...but at the time I don't see a way out of that one.
But...
I'm so happy that everyone is finally home! The past month has been incredibly static. Thank god I had bobby and april...but i missed the group. I guess everyone was mad at me this summer for somewhat veering away...but just trust me that it was something I needed at the time. I feel like some fences have been mended, and bridges burned...and i just want everything to be good and happy again. I want all my best friends around me for the two weeks I have left in this podunk town. And while I suppose nothing will ever be completely drama-free...i'm going to do my best not to create any. I think i've done enough damage.
I will leave you with some lyrics...because they remind me of us somehow...
Greetings in Braille-the elected
If my senses fail, stay with me 'til they go
'cause I don't want to be alone.
Greetings in Braille, they'll describe everything,
colors aren't everything.
And if you see me down at the liquor store,
please don't tell my dad.
And if you see my dad down at the liquor store,
don't tell me anything at all.
And the people you brought
are just drainpipes bringing trash to the ground.
And the memories are just picture cards,
one night stands and breakdowns.
And you were cold, tired and old as you'd ever looked that night.
And we were warned, yeah.
We were warned not to stay out too late.
But some things were worth getting in trouble for.
So now that you finally failed
just like you said you would, down to the last detail.
Well, if living's such hell, here's to your dying days.
You won't have to be afraid.
And the heroes you met were just fiction,
yeah, with higher expectations.
And your friends grew up faster than you got successful,
told you to keep it up. Good comes to those who work.
And the stories they told you were true, babe.
Your mom really went crazy.
But that doesn't have to be you.
No.
And I miss Tara and Melissa, Allen and John.
And you'll never have friends like you did when you were young.
But our bodies were pulled away and swept out to the sea
and I'd call and say hi if I thought you'd remember me.
cause some things are worth leaving old memories for.
If my senses fail, stay with me 'til they go
'cause I don't want to be alone.
Greetings in Braille, should describe everything
'cause you can't see anything from here.
From here, you can't see nothing at all.