(no subject)
Today I feel like poop. Life can be so confusing. I don't get it. It's so weird to me how one person can be perfectly fine and have all the luck and be so mean and then some nice people have so many problems and they never do anything. I don't get it. I have no problems but I always feel so guitly because I don't have problems! LoL! Isn't that crazy? I feel like my sister hates me. I just want to graduate and get out of high school and when Wayne graduates get out of Lakeland. But it just seems so scary. I'm so spoiled and have everything given to me and now in a year or less Ill be on my own. I worry about that alot. I know I shouldn't worry about the future and just live for today but sometimes thats so hard. I get so scared about stupid stuff. I miss Wayne. My sister thinks I controll him and I asked him about and he said no. I feel so bad. I don't know how I would control. He says he hates girls and doesn't want to talk to them. I've never even said anything about it except when he talked to that Raine girl when I was on vacation and I was only mad because he lied about it. It just hurts me someone would think that. I know Im controlling but that would be really said If I actually controlled other people and didn't even realize it. But Wayne says I don't and I believe everything he says so Ill trust him. I just wish people wouldn't think that. I love Wayne so much. I would never want to hurt him in any way. I just wish my life could be so much more simple. I wish I lived in a little small town in the middle of nowhere but close enough to like malls and stuff so I could do my shopping...lol. Everything is just so complicated. Theres 2 many questions in life that no one knows that answers too and that just seems unfair to me. It sux. I hate school so much this year. I have like no good friends. I dont know but ever since Renee moved I haven't really been close with anyone until I met Wayne. I feel like its me. And maybe it is. But I don't know whats wrong with me. I don't really dislike anyone. I mean I think a lot of kids at school seem immature, 2faced and ignorant. But I don't hate them or anything and Im nice to everyone. But I just don't meet nice people for some reason I guess. I like being by myself and just having Wayne but sometimes I just wish I had a friend that was a girl so I could talk about girl stuff! I mean Wayne tries but its just not the same! It's not a big deal though. It just is weird to me. On a lighter note GAS IS SO EXPENSIVE! OMG! Its so dumb I go to work to pay for gas and about the only place I go is to work! lol. Its ironic! I get paid today! Woo hoo! Well Im going to go work. Toodles.