hands out of pockets...
i feel like i'm going insane. nothing's worth it anymore (of course with the exception of swimming, but we'll just pretend that doesn't exist for a sec). went for a "team dinner" tonight at uno's, to start, and even though it wasn't our whole team it sucked. even though people say that since certain people are gone we'll b like one big family, i can tell that this season is gonna be mighty mighty cliquey, with basically the same people that always make it cliquely. it was nice to see kaitlyn and shelly and of course mari and terr etc., but i was sitting in a crummy seat and from where i was sitting i could tell that crew's not gonna b anywhere near as fun and overally great as swimming was/is right now.
then there's my parents, who are driving me insane. they are putting too much pressure on me. Which leads me to pressure and stress, 2 things that are gonna drive me through the wall really soon. i wanna cry all the time and i'm a frieking mess and i absolutely hate it. what happened to the "senior year is great!" mantra. and don't say that the only sucky thing is college aps, cause i think that may be one of the easier things this year. and then just people and pockets and the people in my classes and everything are just an absolute mess.
on a happier note, because swimming is for an absolute change the only decent thing in my life...sectionals was yesterday, and it was such an amazing experience. blodgett pool is so cool and gorgeous and it was a neat place to compete at. i didn't do as well as i would've liked in the individuals, even though joanna disagrees with me, but the relays were great. we came in 5th in the 200 and 7th in the 400 and my split for the 200 was like a high 26 which was so awesome. plus, i absolutely love this team. i don't think i've ever had so much fun while still being competitive and working hard and pushing myself. rachel and mary have really done a great job as captains. and the seniors are awesome. and then there's joanna and laurie, who beat joel by a long shot, and i just realized how much i'm gonna MISS THEM after the season's over cause they're so good and nice and good coaches and i love them. if u're interested in looking at pictures of the amazing people on my team, go here:
swim pictures