Fic: A Mobius Strip of a Conversation (Inception, G)
title: A Mobius Strip of a Conversation
author: ilovetakahana
characters: Arthur, Ariadne, Eames, Yusuf, Cobb, Saito. James and Philippa are mentioned.
warnings: This is some sort-of funny crack I wound up thinking of during a gTalk conversation with neomeruru: Arthur, multiple chat conversations, talking about Eames, and hilarity [not to mention inappropriate emoticons] ensue. I've kind of drifted away from the original concept, though everyone now gets in on the act. An epistolary story in chat transcripts and email threads. Cracky, unbeta'd, and just goofing off.
disclaimer: I don't own the original story or the characters. Not making any profit, just playing in the sandbox.
summary: Maybe Arthur needs to talk to SOMEONE directly, instead of having all of his conversations loop back to that same person.
Also archived at http://ninemoons42.dreamwidth.org/.
[ wakemeupwakemeup is online. ]
gravitywhatgravity: Why are you still awake?
wakemeupwakemeup: Because I'm not allowed to sleep yet. >.<;;;
gravitywhatgravity: Do I even want to know how long you've been up?
wakemeupwakemeup: I've given up counting the hours.
I'm on my twntieth cup of coffee today.
^twentieth
Goddamn I can't even type any more.
Drop me into limbo will you.
gravitywhatgravity: Not even funny.
wakemeupwakemeup: You're no fun.
Yusuf said he would love to.
He's very worried about me.
gravitywhatgravity: I have no doubt.
wakemeupwakemeup: Your overwhelming sympathy is overwhelming.
gravitywhatgravity *throws up hands*
Okay, it's that bad, you're speaking in lolcat.
wakemeupwakemeup: I am also fluent in guilting the shit out of you.
gravitywhatgravity: Well, I guess distracting you counts for nothing in your books.
wakemeupwakemeup: No, an you were here, I would burn my study - with your sorry ass in it.
And make s'mores over the flames.
And invite Yusuf and the kids.
gravitywhatgravity: I give up. *laughs helplessly*
Even mostly out of your mind you're still funny.
wakemeupwakemeup: Only mostly?
You know you love me.
gravitywhatgravity: I'm sure the others would beg to differ.
wakemeupwakemeup: A lady doesn't kiss and tell.
gravitywhatgravity: And you are no lady.
wakemeupwakemeup: HE doesn't think so.
gravitywhatgravity: ...Okay.
Where did that come from?
wakemeupwakemeup: Oh, I didn't email you?
He sent me a very pretty dress a week ago.
This one.
http://www.akadaru.com/refdata/produit/17_produit.jpg
gravitywhatgravity: .....
wakemeupwakemeup: Oh, come on, don't tell me you're jealous.
I'm sure he'd buy you entire collections of suits if you asked him nicely.
gravitywhatgravity: Depends on what you mean by "nicely".
We are talking about the same person, right?
wakemeupwakemeup: Yep. Big guy, very English, the most amazing gray eyes on the planet.
Built like whoa.
Tattoos.
or perhaps you know him as this rather fetching blonde, eyes set a little too widely apart, smile like this only much cuter? :3
gravitywhatgravity: Awful taste in clothing.
wakemeupwakemeup: Not the girl!
If that's all you've got,
you, sir, are fail.
He also happens to be the person who put together a study guide for me on French Neoclassicism, in one day, because he had nothing better to do.
gravitywhatgravity: ...All right, I could be impressed.
wakemeupwakemeup: Be more than impressed.
Here.
[ wakemeupwakemeup is sending you a file. OK // REFUSE ]
[ You are receiving a file from wakemeupwakemeup: Ingres and all the rest.doc ]
wakemeupwakemeup: Now, off you go and do not disturb me any more.
I really do have to finish this paper before I give up the ghost.
gravitywhatgravity: Just be sure you can resurrect yourself in time for the job we're taking in Agrinio.
I am not missing a chance to go to Greece this year.
wakemeupwakemeup: *sleepy salute*
Go away, now.
Shoo.
gravitywhatgravity: Good night, Labrys.
///
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Your disregard for all the possible spellings of the Maid of Orleans's name is quite appalling. Most scholars prefer to address her as "Jehanne".
On the other hand, I hope your research continues to be just as good. We're going to need it on the Agrinio job. I'll send you the details in three days.
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
I would have done a better job of being consistent if 1 - I had not been working 2 - our friend had not been in such a hurry 3 - the sources would only get their shit together.
Going to be passing through your area in a day or two. I don't suppose you could lend me a room.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Keys are in the usual place.
You may help yourself to the strawberries out back; better hope they're actually edible.
///
[ onemanarmyinthesnow is online. ]
didyouseethat: He's actually putting you up?
I must look outside to see if pigs are flying.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Shut up.
didyouseethat: I most certainly will not.
Now, dish, as our dear girl says.
onemanarmyinthesnow: No.
didyouseethat: So you say.
I'll be right here when you decide it's time to share.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Oh FUCK.
didyouseethat: Yeees?
onemanarmyinthesnow: does he actually grow these strawberries himself?
didyouseethat: Okay, perhaps I am glad I am not actually there to see you eat.
I've seen you eat fruit.
You are a very inappropriate person to be around when you are eating.
onemanarmyinthesnow: I do know how to appreciate what I'm eating.
didyouseethat: And there is a thin ling between "appreciating" and "obscenity".
^line
As I'm sure you already well know.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Fuck off.
You're just jealous.
didyouseethat: as it happens I am not.
I am not a large fan of strawberries.
onemanarmyinthesnow: More for me then.
didyouseethat: I demand more details about his apartment.
onemanarmyinthesnow: You're just a big gossip.
didyouseethat: Try telling that to our dear girl's face.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Oh god.
Oh, NO, you didn't.
You're relaying all this to her, aren't you?
didyouseethat: ^_______________^
onemanarmyinthesnow: Better her than him.
Still, I owe you both a sound beating.
Don't think I wouldn't beat up on HER, either.
didyouseethat: Our girl says, "I'd like to see you try."
Well?
onemanarmyinthesnow: I hate you both so much.
Fucking dirty fighters.
///
[ iammistercharles is online. ]
gravitywhatgravity: How are the kids?
iammistercharles: bouncing off the walls
gravitywhatgravity: I'm sorry?
...Who sugared them up?
iammistercharles: I might have been caught making cupcakes.
gravitywhatgravity: Box 'em up, send them to me.
I never pass up on a chance to eat those.
Gets them out of your kids' hands, too.
iammistercharles: You know what, I'll do that right now.
...Oh. They're waving hi at you.
gravitywhatgravity: Tell them I'm waving back.
I actually am waving at my laptop.
iammistercharles: They want to know when you're coming to visit.
gravitywhatgravity: I just came back from there, didn't I?
iammistercharles: Like it matters to them?
gravitywhatgravity: I concede the point.
Happy to hear you're doing so well.
Never would have thought you were going to be so domestic, though.
iammistercharles: Domestic nothing.
You're all invited back here for Thanksgiving.
gravitywhatgravity: Of course I'll be there.
By the way.
If you get any stray transmissions from my apartment
That would be our friend in the patterns.
iammistercharles: He's been sending us pictures.
Impressive strawberries.
So there's finally a plant that you can't kill.
There's a lot of irony in that.
gravitywhatgravity: ....
*facepalm*
I'm going to kick his ass.
iammistercharles: That's what you always say.
Either you do it or you don't.
gravitywhatgravity: I hate you, too.
///
[ Draft mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Lately it seems like all my conversations are ending in the same place. Or with the same person. Frankly, I find this disturbing.
That, or I need to be talking to new people.
///
[ Mail from boughttheairline@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Please send this package on to the rest of the group, with warmest regards.
Contents:
> one dozen packages kompeito
> five yards chirimen
> six susuwatari plushes
> two lacquered masu
> sculpture of shidarezakura branch in full bloom
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Thank you so very much. The craftsmanship on the sakura is exquisite. I will be sure to put it in a place where I can admire it every day.
I do have to ask, however, about the calligraphy on the masu. I did not realize the intended recipient was in a relationship?
[ Mail from boughttheairline@xxxxxxxxxx ]
I rather thought he would have been inclined to share those cups with you.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Not you too. Sir.
///
[ Draft mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
I would like to invite you to dinner. A friendly dinner. At my place.
I have something I need to talk to you about, over dinner?
Do you want to have dinner with me after the job?
argh. this is beyond difficult.
///
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Dinner? After the job, of course.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
...Yes.
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Will wonders never cease. I believe this is the first time you've ever said yes to that particular question.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Please don't get any ideas.
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Too late.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
All right already. Dinner now? Please?
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
On my way.
well, it's A beginning
author: ilovetakahana
characters: Arthur, Ariadne, Eames, Yusuf, Cobb, Saito. James and Philippa are mentioned.
warnings: This is some sort-of funny crack I wound up thinking of during a gTalk conversation with neomeruru: Arthur, multiple chat conversations, talking about Eames, and hilarity [not to mention inappropriate emoticons] ensue. I've kind of drifted away from the original concept, though everyone now gets in on the act. An epistolary story in chat transcripts and email threads. Cracky, unbeta'd, and just goofing off.
disclaimer: I don't own the original story or the characters. Not making any profit, just playing in the sandbox.
summary: Maybe Arthur needs to talk to SOMEONE directly, instead of having all of his conversations loop back to that same person.
Also archived at http://ninemoons42.dreamwidth.org/.
[ wakemeupwakemeup is online. ]
gravitywhatgravity: Why are you still awake?
wakemeupwakemeup: Because I'm not allowed to sleep yet. >.<;;;
gravitywhatgravity: Do I even want to know how long you've been up?
wakemeupwakemeup: I've given up counting the hours.
I'm on my twntieth cup of coffee today.
^twentieth
Goddamn I can't even type any more.
Drop me into limbo will you.
gravitywhatgravity: Not even funny.
wakemeupwakemeup: You're no fun.
Yusuf said he would love to.
He's very worried about me.
gravitywhatgravity: I have no doubt.
wakemeupwakemeup: Your overwhelming sympathy is overwhelming.
gravitywhatgravity *throws up hands*
Okay, it's that bad, you're speaking in lolcat.
wakemeupwakemeup: I am also fluent in guilting the shit out of you.
gravitywhatgravity: Well, I guess distracting you counts for nothing in your books.
wakemeupwakemeup: No, an you were here, I would burn my study - with your sorry ass in it.
And make s'mores over the flames.
And invite Yusuf and the kids.
gravitywhatgravity: I give up. *laughs helplessly*
Even mostly out of your mind you're still funny.
wakemeupwakemeup: Only mostly?
You know you love me.
gravitywhatgravity: I'm sure the others would beg to differ.
wakemeupwakemeup: A lady doesn't kiss and tell.
gravitywhatgravity: And you are no lady.
wakemeupwakemeup: HE doesn't think so.
gravitywhatgravity: ...Okay.
Where did that come from?
wakemeupwakemeup: Oh, I didn't email you?
He sent me a very pretty dress a week ago.
This one.
http://www.akadaru.com/refdata/produit/17_produit.jpg
gravitywhatgravity: .....
wakemeupwakemeup: Oh, come on, don't tell me you're jealous.
I'm sure he'd buy you entire collections of suits if you asked him nicely.
gravitywhatgravity: Depends on what you mean by "nicely".
We are talking about the same person, right?
wakemeupwakemeup: Yep. Big guy, very English, the most amazing gray eyes on the planet.
Built like whoa.
Tattoos.
or perhaps you know him as this rather fetching blonde, eyes set a little too widely apart, smile like this only much cuter? :3
gravitywhatgravity: Awful taste in clothing.
wakemeupwakemeup: Not the girl!
If that's all you've got,
you, sir, are fail.
He also happens to be the person who put together a study guide for me on French Neoclassicism, in one day, because he had nothing better to do.
gravitywhatgravity: ...All right, I could be impressed.
wakemeupwakemeup: Be more than impressed.
Here.
[ wakemeupwakemeup is sending you a file. OK // REFUSE ]
[ You are receiving a file from wakemeupwakemeup: Ingres and all the rest.doc ]
wakemeupwakemeup: Now, off you go and do not disturb me any more.
I really do have to finish this paper before I give up the ghost.
gravitywhatgravity: Just be sure you can resurrect yourself in time for the job we're taking in Agrinio.
I am not missing a chance to go to Greece this year.
wakemeupwakemeup: *sleepy salute*
Go away, now.
Shoo.
gravitywhatgravity: Good night, Labrys.
///
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Your disregard for all the possible spellings of the Maid of Orleans's name is quite appalling. Most scholars prefer to address her as "Jehanne".
On the other hand, I hope your research continues to be just as good. We're going to need it on the Agrinio job. I'll send you the details in three days.
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
I would have done a better job of being consistent if 1 - I had not been working 2 - our friend had not been in such a hurry 3 - the sources would only get their shit together.
Going to be passing through your area in a day or two. I don't suppose you could lend me a room.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Keys are in the usual place.
You may help yourself to the strawberries out back; better hope they're actually edible.
///
[ onemanarmyinthesnow is online. ]
didyouseethat: He's actually putting you up?
I must look outside to see if pigs are flying.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Shut up.
didyouseethat: I most certainly will not.
Now, dish, as our dear girl says.
onemanarmyinthesnow: No.
didyouseethat: So you say.
I'll be right here when you decide it's time to share.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Oh FUCK.
didyouseethat: Yeees?
onemanarmyinthesnow: does he actually grow these strawberries himself?
didyouseethat: Okay, perhaps I am glad I am not actually there to see you eat.
I've seen you eat fruit.
You are a very inappropriate person to be around when you are eating.
onemanarmyinthesnow: I do know how to appreciate what I'm eating.
didyouseethat: And there is a thin ling between "appreciating" and "obscenity".
^line
As I'm sure you already well know.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Fuck off.
You're just jealous.
didyouseethat: as it happens I am not.
I am not a large fan of strawberries.
onemanarmyinthesnow: More for me then.
didyouseethat: I demand more details about his apartment.
onemanarmyinthesnow: You're just a big gossip.
didyouseethat: Try telling that to our dear girl's face.
onemanarmyinthesnow: Oh god.
Oh, NO, you didn't.
You're relaying all this to her, aren't you?
didyouseethat: ^_______________^
onemanarmyinthesnow: Better her than him.
Still, I owe you both a sound beating.
Don't think I wouldn't beat up on HER, either.
didyouseethat: Our girl says, "I'd like to see you try."
Well?
onemanarmyinthesnow: I hate you both so much.
Fucking dirty fighters.
///
[ iammistercharles is online. ]
gravitywhatgravity: How are the kids?
iammistercharles: bouncing off the walls
gravitywhatgravity: I'm sorry?
...Who sugared them up?
iammistercharles: I might have been caught making cupcakes.
gravitywhatgravity: Box 'em up, send them to me.
I never pass up on a chance to eat those.
Gets them out of your kids' hands, too.
iammistercharles: You know what, I'll do that right now.
...Oh. They're waving hi at you.
gravitywhatgravity: Tell them I'm waving back.
I actually am waving at my laptop.
iammistercharles: They want to know when you're coming to visit.
gravitywhatgravity: I just came back from there, didn't I?
iammistercharles: Like it matters to them?
gravitywhatgravity: I concede the point.
Happy to hear you're doing so well.
Never would have thought you were going to be so domestic, though.
iammistercharles: Domestic nothing.
You're all invited back here for Thanksgiving.
gravitywhatgravity: Of course I'll be there.
By the way.
If you get any stray transmissions from my apartment
That would be our friend in the patterns.
iammistercharles: He's been sending us pictures.
Impressive strawberries.
So there's finally a plant that you can't kill.
There's a lot of irony in that.
gravitywhatgravity: ....
*facepalm*
I'm going to kick his ass.
iammistercharles: That's what you always say.
Either you do it or you don't.
gravitywhatgravity: I hate you, too.
///
[ Draft mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Lately it seems like all my conversations are ending in the same place. Or with the same person. Frankly, I find this disturbing.
That, or I need to be talking to new people.
///
[ Mail from boughttheairline@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Please send this package on to the rest of the group, with warmest regards.
Contents:
> one dozen packages kompeito
> five yards chirimen
> six susuwatari plushes
> two lacquered masu
> sculpture of shidarezakura branch in full bloom
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Thank you so very much. The craftsmanship on the sakura is exquisite. I will be sure to put it in a place where I can admire it every day.
I do have to ask, however, about the calligraphy on the masu. I did not realize the intended recipient was in a relationship?
[ Mail from boughttheairline@xxxxxxxxxx ]
I rather thought he would have been inclined to share those cups with you.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Not you too. Sir.
///
[ Draft mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
I would like to invite you to dinner. A friendly dinner. At my place.
I have something I need to talk to you about, over dinner?
Do you want to have dinner with me after the job?
argh. this is beyond difficult.
///
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Dinner? After the job, of course.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
...Yes.
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Will wonders never cease. I believe this is the first time you've ever said yes to that particular question.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Please don't get any ideas.
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
Too late.
[ Mail from gravitywhatgravity@xxxxxxxxxx ]
All right already. Dinner now? Please?
[ Mail from onemanarmyinthesnow@xxxxxxxxxx ]
On my way.
well, it's A beginning