(no subject)
So I haven't updated this thing in forever... where to start. Today has been a shit day, which seems to be the only time that I ever write anything on LJ. I went to Oxford and Cherwell Valley College to have a "needs assesment" so I had to be patronised for nearly 2 hours. "Do you find reading difficult?" How do you think I've got through nearly 4 years of uni you moron!?!!! I just said yes to everything so I would get more money from Cambridge County Council and then I can buy myself a printer that matches my new computer and a bunch of crap that is totally unrelated to my dyslexia. It was raining today so I figured the buses would be slower than usual, plus as everyone knows I don't like giving my hard earned money to the enemy (stagecoach) so I decided to walk into town to this college and back again, it was nearly an hour each way plus nearly 2 hours of assesment so when I got back to my flat I was knackered and fell asleep for about an hour, hence why I'm wide awake now and having a very public rant on LJ. Don't you just love late night ranting?
I don't know if it's because it's Jan and the whole New Year New You thing but I've been re-assesing my life and thinking how on earth did I end up in this middle class hell? I seem to keep making a string of really bad decisions but I can't seem to stop making them. I hate uni, it is not the be all and end all of everything as everyone makes it out to be. I was not made for uni and uni was not made for me. I'm just here because of social constraints, from a middle class family with a prof for a dad. I don't fit in here. I knew this 4 years ago but I followed it through with a dream of something better. I don't expect for that something better to fall in my lap but this..... is just too shit for words.
I don't want to go to graduation and smile fakely in the photographs when this place has caused me nothing but grief but a few people think that I will later come to regret this decision so I had better reserve a place at the graduation ceremony just incase I change my mind. Once I graduate I hope I never have to return to this god awful place.
I don't know if it's because it's Jan and the whole New Year New You thing but I've been re-assesing my life and thinking how on earth did I end up in this middle class hell? I seem to keep making a string of really bad decisions but I can't seem to stop making them. I hate uni, it is not the be all and end all of everything as everyone makes it out to be. I was not made for uni and uni was not made for me. I'm just here because of social constraints, from a middle class family with a prof for a dad. I don't fit in here. I knew this 4 years ago but I followed it through with a dream of something better. I don't expect for that something better to fall in my lap but this..... is just too shit for words.
I don't want to go to graduation and smile fakely in the photographs when this place has caused me nothing but grief but a few people think that I will later come to regret this decision so I had better reserve a place at the graduation ceremony just incase I change my mind. Once I graduate I hope I never have to return to this god awful place.