(no subject)
wouldnt it be nice to know how your future will turn out? and even better- if you had the power to change it to how you wanted? its strange looking back now on how things used to be. everything seemed so much easier, friendships were so much stronger, and the drama everyone went through that seemed soo horrible then is just funny now.
im thinking about when i was about 14. i thought everything was so hard and that i was so grown up. and even though it was only 3 almost 4 years ago, it seems like i have changed so much.
i hated middle school and everything about it. the only thing that got me through were the friends i had that didnt even go there with me, like brittany and russell.
brittany and i used to be so inseperable. we were about as close as two people could get. we talked every night, shared secrets that no one else knew about and probably still dont know, went through heart aches together and still managed to conquer everything that crossed our paths. we have been friends for five years, but the last 2 seem almost non existant. we hardly talk anymore if at all and have changed into two completely different people. i guess that is part of growing up, but still, its hard to look back and see what you have lost over the years when you havent gained much more to replace it. i guess i should call her.
then there is russell. someone who i love dearly after all that has happened. we too have changed a lot and the relationship we used to have has diminished- the friendship almost did too. weve been friends for 4 years and about 2 of those years was something a little more. i miss that sometimes. i miss always having someone there to listen, to argue with, to care so deeply for dispite distance or the timespan in which you have seen one another. i like looking back to this memory because its one that makes me smile. i guess you never forget your first love.
im going to be an adult in 5 months. this is such a hard concept for me to grasp especially when i want to go back to when i was 14 or 15 again. i know its impossible, but it would be cool. i said in the beginning that it would be cool to see your future and be able to change it to how you wanted, but i dont think i would change a thing. ive learned a lot from my friends and they have helped me to become me. of course there were others who were a big part of my life too, but none so much as these two.
now that ive taken a trip down memory lane, its time to come back. some people choose to forget their past for certain reasons. i tried that once before for a reason that was not worth it, and i feel bad for doing that. i'll never forget my past, and i hope that somehow, it will still be a part of my present and future, no matter how much things or people change.
im thinking about when i was about 14. i thought everything was so hard and that i was so grown up. and even though it was only 3 almost 4 years ago, it seems like i have changed so much.
i hated middle school and everything about it. the only thing that got me through were the friends i had that didnt even go there with me, like brittany and russell.
brittany and i used to be so inseperable. we were about as close as two people could get. we talked every night, shared secrets that no one else knew about and probably still dont know, went through heart aches together and still managed to conquer everything that crossed our paths. we have been friends for five years, but the last 2 seem almost non existant. we hardly talk anymore if at all and have changed into two completely different people. i guess that is part of growing up, but still, its hard to look back and see what you have lost over the years when you havent gained much more to replace it. i guess i should call her.
then there is russell. someone who i love dearly after all that has happened. we too have changed a lot and the relationship we used to have has diminished- the friendship almost did too. weve been friends for 4 years and about 2 of those years was something a little more. i miss that sometimes. i miss always having someone there to listen, to argue with, to care so deeply for dispite distance or the timespan in which you have seen one another. i like looking back to this memory because its one that makes me smile. i guess you never forget your first love.
im going to be an adult in 5 months. this is such a hard concept for me to grasp especially when i want to go back to when i was 14 or 15 again. i know its impossible, but it would be cool. i said in the beginning that it would be cool to see your future and be able to change it to how you wanted, but i dont think i would change a thing. ive learned a lot from my friends and they have helped me to become me. of course there were others who were a big part of my life too, but none so much as these two.
now that ive taken a trip down memory lane, its time to come back. some people choose to forget their past for certain reasons. i tried that once before for a reason that was not worth it, and i feel bad for doing that. i'll never forget my past, and i hope that somehow, it will still be a part of my present and future, no matter how much things or people change.