Today, everything ends.
Yes, the relationship has ended for half a year already. Yet I'm still on tetherhooks each time I pass by the station that I used to go, every week. I still think of him sometimes, dream of him, wishing that everything didn't happen.
Today, everything ends.
Today I read the world's most hurting words.
To have let me go through this pain blaming myself everyday that I didn't try hard enough, or that I screwed up somewhere- has got to be one of the most cruel things you could have ever done. Shoving it in my face that I didn't love myself enough; or as to how you breaking up with me has been a correct decision- for you, is disgusting. Each time I think back of how you manipulated my sadness, I feel vomit coming up my throat.
You are disgusting, and you used my love for you.
You made me believe that it wasn't you, and that you were truly sorry about everything that happened.
Bollocks.
You didn't think that telling me the truth would have respected me more? You didn't think that I even deserved that little piece of honesty, after all these years?
Thinking of how I wanted to kill myself those few months really makes me sick. For someone who obviously never loved me enough, I really should have let you leave when you wanted to in Europe. Why did I hold on for so long to somebody, who obviously never valued my existence? To you - I was a routine and a sickening thing.
How could you even bear to blame it all on me, and for all the mistakes I made in the past?
How could you even fucking dare?
You don't deserve any of my time anymore; my respect; my thoughts, or even my friendship.
We were never friends, we will never be ever again.
So here I am saying goodbye, because this time, you will really never hear from me ever again.
Today, you finally lost me forever.
Today, everything ends.
Today I read the world's most hurting words.
To have let me go through this pain blaming myself everyday that I didn't try hard enough, or that I screwed up somewhere- has got to be one of the most cruel things you could have ever done. Shoving it in my face that I didn't love myself enough; or as to how you breaking up with me has been a correct decision- for you, is disgusting. Each time I think back of how you manipulated my sadness, I feel vomit coming up my throat.
You are disgusting, and you used my love for you.
You made me believe that it wasn't you, and that you were truly sorry about everything that happened.
Bollocks.
You didn't think that telling me the truth would have respected me more? You didn't think that I even deserved that little piece of honesty, after all these years?
Thinking of how I wanted to kill myself those few months really makes me sick. For someone who obviously never loved me enough, I really should have let you leave when you wanted to in Europe. Why did I hold on for so long to somebody, who obviously never valued my existence? To you - I was a routine and a sickening thing.
How could you even bear to blame it all on me, and for all the mistakes I made in the past?
How could you even fucking dare?
You don't deserve any of my time anymore; my respect; my thoughts, or even my friendship.
We were never friends, we will never be ever again.
So here I am saying goodbye, because this time, you will really never hear from me ever again.
Today, you finally lost me forever.