update on my fan fic
ch2
After leaving the meeting with my teacher I decided to walk to work because I thought it would give me time to think, well what an idiot I am I probably should have looked at all the black clouds in the sky because then I would have been surprised when it started raining hard on me 2 blocks into my way to work. It was freezing cold and I only had a thin jacket on oh how I wish I would have let lucas just drive me to my shift at the caf・ but what happened next was the real nightmare. In front about 2 houses away I heard a car door closing and when I looked up I saw a 2004 svt cobra and everything went blank.
After a couple seconds I calmed my self and tried to stay really quiet and find a place to hide because that way he wouldn稚 see me and I could avoid any contact like I had been doing for the last 6 months. Of course I don稚 have that kind of luck because in my frantic attempt to hide I totally slipped and fell and let out a scream, if I wasn稚 already in pain I would have kicked myself for my stupidity. But when I looked up I saw him backing out of his friends driveway and I thought someone up their really liked me until I heard a honk of a car and their he was parked next to me making his way out of the car with an umbrella 創ow why couldn稚 I have thought of one of those・
A good 5 minutes passed and nothing happened I was sitting on the wet floor probably with a sprained ankle and their my ex boyfriend stood in front of me with an umbrella over his head totally speechless. I never thought that nathan scott would be speechless most of the time he is the cockiest jackass you will ever meet. The silence surrounding us was getting unbearable so I decided to break it ・as much fun as this moment is I think its time for me to go before I catch namonia・I guess in my attempt to get the hell out of their I forgot about the throbbing pain in my ankle because when I stood up it came all back and I almost fell again, but this time he caught me, im still not sure if that was a good thing because Im pretty sure the floor would have the better outcome in the end.
塗aley are you okay・wow it actually sounded like he was concerned, but I knew better. So I tested my ankle and it wasn稚 that bad I could walk on it without falling if I was careful so I pushed him away. 妬m fine okay ill be fine・I tried to walk away, but then I felt his arm grab me 斗ook your not walking in this rain with what probably is a sprained ankle, your only gonna make it worse and you know coach would kill you if you couldn稚 play this bball season just because you think you hate me・
I could believe what a jackass he was being ・look nathan I don稚 know what fantasy world your living in but I tend to live in this reality and in the reality I do hate you I thought me not talking to you for the last 6 months would have tipped you off, but damn I guess I have to spell it out for you so here it is, you disgust me I cant believe I stayed with you as long as I did because I sure as hell deserved better, but im not doing this anymore giving you the time of day and then getting crushed because I thought their was a good person inside , but honestly we were together for what almost three years and I think ive seen the person a total of what 10 times which is pathetic and im done putting myself through this @#%$・I wanted to cry not out of sadness but out of anger because I needed to get it out so I could get passed it, but of course he wouldn稚 make it easy 田ome on haley that痴 bs and you know it we were always happy yahh we fight but that痴 what makes it so good cuz we fight and then we make up and we were always together I practically lived in your house so you could stand here and paint some picture of this evil me and how innocent you were but we both know you would fight right along with me・and he was right I didn稚 fight and I did love him and w were happy some of the time, but that wasn稚 enough anymore ・you know im not saying you池e the only one to blame because I was just as apart of this screwed up relationship as you were, but the difference between you and me is you would tear it down and I would try and bring it back to what it was and I don稚 even remember who I am anymore and im not saying its your fault no because everyone has to grow up, and everyone fights in relationships, but we don稚 just find nathan we hurt each other on purpose and that痴 not right・
He was silent for a while and I knew he agreed, but he didn稚 have an answer and I was done waiting around so I started to walk away think I took three steps before all my walls that I had built in the last 6 months came down all this supposed strength I had build just vanished ・you know I loved you・he said but I didn稚 turn ・you knew how much I loved you, but it scared me we were what just freshman and you came out of nowhere you used to be haley james the girl I couldn稚 stand in junior high the girl I used to make fun of and maker cry, you were the girl who would always fight back no matter how bad you were gonna lose and you didn稚 cuz you knew it pissed me off. And then freshman year started and we had basketball practices with the girls and all of a sudden you had grown up during summer and you would run around in a sports bra and bball shorts and I couldn稚 take my eyes off you but then you would open your mouth and we would fight and god I was so hott for you. But you were still the girl that was friends with all my friends and they would tease you and you would tease back and you were like one of the guys to them so I thought that痴 what you had to be to me too because I didn稚 think they would like it・
I looked at him with just confusion because I didn稚 ask him to explain he didn稚 need to because I already knew this from being with him for so long, and it angered me that after 3 years he finally tells me after im moving on after it shouldn稚 matter anymore, but it does. 土ou always do this・I finally said with so much anger. 土ou always come back when you know im about to slip away. When were together I have to fight you to get an inch and then when im done fighting and im about to walk away you give me mile without me having to ask and im so sick of this game nathan, you don稚 think I new all of that, why do you think I would always fight with you because I loved the way you would give me attention by fighting back if it was anyone else you would walk away, but you would stay with me until I would, and even when we got together I had to give you the door before you took the chance and asked me out and damn maybe I should have given it because it would have saved me from wasting three years with you in a dead end relationship・
I saw the pain in his blue eyes and I almost felt bad for him, but I couldn稚 go their again not after everything. 妬t wasn稚 a waste of three years, we were happy you were happy and I know that you still love me just like I love you and no matter what you do it wont go away because me and you are destiny we meant to be and you know that・and I snapped and I couldn稚 take it anymore and a tears just came 杜eant to be, destiny, are you crazy I barely survived three years with you without loosing my sanity and their a few times I questioned that, but forever you really are insane, but that I could excuse I guess because I already knew you were crazy. But telling me that you love me and that I still love you that痴 unfair, but yahh I still do love you and I probably will for a long time because Im not capable of just erasing what I felt for you or how much a felt for you in a day unlike you who it took what a month to get over・and I couldn稚 believe what he said next ・who said that I was over you haley・I think the next thing I did confused him I started laughing 努hy are you laughing haley・I stayed quiet for a min trying to control my emotions ・why am I laughing because what you said must have been a joke or maybe you had amnesia because im not the one who has had a girlfriend for what 5 months now always in the halls making out, or am I imaging that too・and then I saw his anger ・sorry haley, but im not the one who gave up im not the one who walked away or did you forge about you kissing skills, or wait am I imagining that・the sarcasm in his voice made me sick. 土ou have no right to be mad at me nathan you broke up with me you said you didn稚 want a girlfriend so I said fine and I let it go. So I didn稚 cheat on you I didn稚 walk away you wanted out so since you wanted out I decided I was gonna see what else was out their, so yahh I kissed skills what I think twice and then I told him I couldn稚 because I was still in love with you. I was hurt and in pain and I just wanted to forget but I realized I was wrong and I stopped I took all but a weak・
I just stared at him waiting to see what he was gonna say to me 土ou knew haley; you knew that if you kissed him me and you were done. How many times have we broken up in the last three years what like 50 times and it would last a week or two and then we would get back to being us, but you knew that once you kissed skills it would be over am I right haley, AM I・I looked him strait in the eye and I whispered ・yes・he was right I did know that 鍍hen why haley you knew how much I loved you I would do anything for you, but you just through it all a away WHY・tears fell down my eyes again ・BECAUSE・I screamed ・because I was sick of being in love with someone who was ashamed of me・and he looked at me with disbelief that I had said it out loud 電on稚 look at me like im loosing it you were ashamed of me and everybody knew it I was just sick of my friends feeling sorry for me so I walked away because it was the only way for me to breath again. What you thought it didn稚 bother me, my own boyfriend was ashamed of me・he looked down.
的 wasn稚 ashamed of you・and more tears came 土es you were so stop lying im sick of you lying and pretending because you were ashamed of me, nathan we were together 3 years, 3 @#%$ years and know body even know that we were a couple, I mean all of our friends new because damn it was obvious, but every time they would ask you what would you do you denied it, so sorry I couldn稚 take it anymore because you were chipping away at my heart ever single day and my confidence and so when I saw that opportunity to get out I did. And I didn稚 do it to hurt you or to break you I didn稚 for me because I needed to take care of me I couldn稚 stop crying when I was with you and when someone loves you they should make you smile more than make you cry and I think when I was with you they were even・I looked up into his eyes and he was crying too I didn稚 know how long we were out in the rain but at some point during our conversation slash fight he had pulled me under the umbrella. And then I wasn稚 ready for what came next 的 wasn稚 ashamed of you, I swear its just I knew if everyone knew about us we wouldn稚 have lasted as long as we didn稚 because we had problems just getting along most of the time imagine what would happen if people knew I would lose you they would make you see how much @#%$ better you deserve and then you would leave me and I couldn稚 handle that and I still cant you don稚 know how much I want to kill skills even know because he touched you and you were mine your still mine you will always be no matter how much you fight me on it or how many guys you start dating you cant take me out of your heart im their for life, just like your in mine and yahh I have a girlfriend and peyton she is great, but even on her best day she doesn稚 even compare to your worst that痴 how much you mean to me, so if you just give me one more chance let me prove to you we are meant to be and we could tell the whole world I don稚 care I will shout it out in the middle of our state championship game in front of the whole town anything just as long as we could get back to you and me because I cant function without you its just so much better when you around・he had tears in his eyes and I was breaking inside I didn稚 know what to do because I knew he meant it I knew he wasn稚 lying, so I did the only thing I knew I took his hand and looked into his eyes and・・br>
Tbc